Inspiration for a New Year
During my first week back at EMUC following the Christmas holidays, I officiated at a funeral. More often than not, I find that the New Year begins with a funeral service. A quick check into the church's funeral register showed that between 2009 and 2016, I've officiated at a January funeral during five of those years. Although this may be a sobering way to begin a new year, I also find that it helps to put things in perspective. Often, I find that New Year's resolutions are fed by a culture of narcissism. We're overwhelmed with advertising promoting the best diet or fitness regime that will give us a better looking body. We're challenged to achieve a variety of personal goals that will make us smarter, richer and more successful. There is so much focus on 'me'!
When I meet with family members to prepare for the funeral of a loved one and when I listen to their stories and eulogies of their mother, father, brother, sister, wife, husband, or child, I am reminded that we are nothing without each other; that the bonds of love and the strength of our relationships with people are what matter most. For it is our loving relationships that ground us and root us in life and give our lives meaning and purpose. At the time of death, we are reminded of how important it is to cherish and value these relationships each and every day. As we come face to face with human mortality and the fragility of life, we are reminded of how misguided and foolish it is to withhold love, postpone reconciliation and harbour a grudge.
you can click on any photograph and read a short story about the person pictured, written by someone who loved them.
In the course of reading a number of the stories, I laughed out loud and was moved to tears. I've been inspired by the way in which 'ordinary' lives have been extraordinary in their impact on others. I've been reminded that even in this troubled world of pain and suffering, war and oppression, that human beings, at our core, are made to love one another...and in loving one another, we love the God who created us and loved us into being.
I offer a few excerpts from the stories posted on the New York Times, 'The Lives They Loved.' May they inspire us as we journey through 2016.
Will treated everyday as a gift, and it is this attitude, and way of life, that keeps us going. This is his true gift to us all.
Michael taught me how to love living and live loving. He did both so beautifully.
Although I was more than 1,000 miles away from her, my mom always made sure to call me every morning, wishing me a great and blessed day. My heart misses her every second of the day. She was my best friend, my confidant, my healer, my protector, my everything. As I miss her I think of all the strength she had. She truly conquered the disease never letting it stop her from her dreams and endeavors. I simply hope the story of my mom helps someone else do the same.
My mother was the only person I have ever met who did not judge others: no one, ever. At the informal memorial we held for her last week, it was something most people mentioned, together with her ability to make everyone she spoke with feel valued. Despite having grown up in small towns in the Midwest, the daughter of a minister, she had an extraordinarily open mind when it came to taking on the world.
His stroke also awakened a tender side. Tears of joy and gratitude were common, especially around the grandkids. Watching him play with them reminded us that the little things matter, and to be more accepting, more giving, more kind.
You were 43, and yet you seemed timeless in your ability to love us all.
Peace, Kathy Toivanen