How often have you turned on a 'talk radio' station only to hear someone spewing forth with half-baked ideas or with remarks that demean and vilify whole groups of people? How often, in shock and dismay, have you read the online responses to a news item or an opinion piece as readers give full rein to their thoughts - ranting and raving about one thing or another? How often have you been in a conversation where you are verbally harangued or spoken to with distain and contempt?
I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that we live in a world where words have become toxic and language is often used as a weapon rather than as something life-affirming. In social media, in political debate, in everyday conversation, language is often used to undermine and to bully, to humiliate and to exclude, to wound and to incite hatred.
Parker J. Palmer, a Quaker elder, educator, activist, has written a number of very thoughtful books and is a regular columnist for the 'On Being' Blog.
In this week's column he wrote about the importance of thinking before speaking. His column was born of a conversation that he overheard. Here are some of his reflections on that experience.
A few weeks ago, I listened in as a man told his dinner companion why he supports a certain presidential candidate. "I'm sick and tired of all this PC crap," he said, as he praised his candidate's all-out war on "political correctness." Then he said, "This guy doesn't always think before he speaks, okay? But he's got the guts to say exactly what's on his mind!"
For seventy-plus years I've believed that people who don't think before they speak are mindless blowhards and buffoons. Now I learn that they have "guts." These days they apparently qualify for the 2016 edition of Profiles in Courage.
For seventy-plus years I've believed that "thinking" includes making at least a quick inventory of the contents of one's mind, which leaves me with a question more vexing than a Zen koan: If a person doesn't "think" before he speaks, how can he say "exactly what's on his mind?"
In my case, at least, even a brief spell of thinking makes it clear that not everything on my mind is ready for prime time. Some of it is so trivial it's not worth saying. Some of it consists of half-baked ideas that need a lot of R & D before they make their debut. Some of it, truth be told, is just too twisted to be broadcast to the world at large.
To those who chafe at the words 'politically correct' because they feel that it restricts language and the scope of our conversations, Palmer offers this advice:
I also want to offer an olive branch to people who are sick and tired of "political correctness." That phrase has exceeded its shelf life, so let's lose it. But let's never lose the civilizing impulse behind it, the desire to dial down the level of verbal violence in our society.
Instead of calling for "politically correct" speech, how about "common decency"? Or "fact-based civil discourse"? Or "the refusal to tar millions of people with a brush only a few deserve"? We need some way to remind ourselves that when we use false words as weapons and open fire on whole classes of people, we're being cruel and cowardly, not courageous. The old adage, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me," is just not true.
(to read Palmer's entire column go to the link I've posted)
We need, more than ever it seems, to learn a language that will draw us together to build peace, to mend hurts and to erase injustices that have been magnified by hate-filled, spiteful, ignorant and prejudiced words.
In her book called Sacred Speech: A Practical Guide for Keeping Spirit in your Speech, Donna Schaper, minister of a United Church of Christ congregation in NYC, offers insights on ways we can use our words to form bonds of trust between people, and in so doing, build up healthy communities. She invites us to learn the art of 'sacred speech' and describes the qualities of such speech in this way:
Sacred speech opens doors because it is not afraid to open them. It takes risks because it is not afraid of the 'other', even the 'other' who speaks another way. It contains more love than fear. It is neither fight nor flight, the normal modes of self-defense. Instead, it is aware of its protection as a creature of God and has plenty of boundaries, sufficient to habituate love as behavior. Even though sacred speech is good and virtuous, it is not proud. It is creaturely. The sacred art of speech is less a big thing than it is a good thing. Its key is humility.
In many religious traditions, including the Christian tradition, great emphasis is placed on language and speech. God speaks and the world is brought into being. God opens the mouths of leaders and prophets and they speak to the people of God's promises or warn them of the consequences acting unjustly. Jesus transforms lives by speaking words of welcome and compassion, healing and forgiveness. In his oral teachings and in the parables he tells, Jesus opens up his listeners ears to hear God's good news for their lives. And at Pentecost, the Spirit loosens the tongues of the disciples so that they are able to proclaim this good news to people of many different languages and heritages.
That same Spirit is in our midst today encouraging us to grow more fluent in speaking a language that opens doors; a language that invites respectful and honest engagement with those who are different; a language that softens anger and consoles the wounded; a language that brokers peace and reconciles with enemies; a language that fosters life and brings new worlds into being.
Peace, Kathy Toivanen.
