In recent group meetings we have been discussing the concept of the "Erotic Hinge," which is a framework for understanding the roles and dynamics of partners in heterosexual relationships that increase the possibility of long-term relationship success and fulfillment.  A common problem among women who deviate from their "hinge" placement involves the intrusion of maternal instincts into their erotic connection with their partners.  

In the next meeting of the Dating and Relationship Group on Saturday, October 1, 2016, 12:00 to 1:15 PM, I will focus on how "kindness" on the part of the woman toward her male partner may actually "kill him," i.e., not literally of course but figuratively in the sense that gestures and attitudes of kindness unconsciously activate in many men relational processes associated with the men's maternal figures.  This, of course, is quite problematic!   Instead, women need to learn how to appropriately challenge their partners, not in a confrontational or argumentative way but in a manner that establishes in his mind the presence of a female identity who does not prioritize his narcissistic needs.  This material is also very important for men to learn about as men often bypass women who are instinctually good challengers and, as such, would likely make great romantic partners.