September 1, 2016
From the Desk of Dr. Molly Grumich
Principal

The following article is authored by Dr. Tim Elmore. Tim is the founder of Growing Leaders and an educational series entitled Habitudes. IWA is proud to be bringing Dr. Elmore to St. Louis in November for a day of Professional Development for the IWA & CBC staffs. As I read this post earlier this week, I felt it hitting lots of "parent" notes with me. I hope you find it insightful and helpful too.

August 30, 2016

Now that my kids are grown adults, I feel more comfortable teaching both parents and faculty the art of leading young people into healthy maturity. Like many parents, my experience raising my first child enabled me to relax a bit on my second child. We tend to obsess at the tiniest quirk in our first baby, and by child number three, we're not as stressed. In fact, I just read this sequence and chuckled at its familiarity:
  • First child eats dirt. Parent calls the doctor immediately.
  • Second child eats dirt. Parent cleans out his mouth.
  • Third child eats dirt. Parents wonder if they really need to feed him lunch.
After careful reflection and gathering data, I now offer some recommendations on some common parental or faculty behaviors we must replace. I learned these over the years and these shifts have made all the difference in the world as I lead students.
 
1. Motivation: We must replace FEAR with WISDOM.
Our generation of parents are riddled with fear. We're scared our kids won't make the honor roll; they'll get pregnant; they'll get abducted, you name it. Even though  research  shows that "stranger abduction" only represents one-hundredth of one percent of all missing children, we fret like it happens in our town every day. School shootings scare us into keeping our kids close and in view at all times. Imagine the message this sends to our young: The world is evil! Don't take any risks. Never trust anyone. It's enough to produce the most anxious population of American teens to date. So here's my question: what if we replaced motivating kids with feelings of fear with encouraging them by using words of wisdom. Simply offering logical wisdom for each decision completely reframes their attitude and stifles their inner fear. Let's be rational, not emotional.

Fear-based Parent : You can't walk to the mall! The traffic is horrible; you might get hit by a car and killed!
Wisdom-based Parent : You can walk to the mall if you're with Ben or Collin. Be sure to look both ways before crossing the street. Text me when you get there.

2. Evaluation: We must replace a focus on GRADES with a focus on GROWTH.
I changed the way I spoke to my kids about their report cards when my daughter turned 12. Prior to that time, I was like most parents. If she made three A's, two B's and a D . . . I focused on the D. I talked to her about her weaknesses. It was not fun. Once I began gazing at her high grades and talking about what she liked about those classes, we both had a better attitude with which to conquer the D. Too often, we're misguided and create stress in our children. We measure the wrong things. Our focus should be on strengths, not struggles: where are they growing and thriving? This is where they'll likely spend time in their careers. Let's obsess over growth, not grades.

Grade-obsessed Parent : Why didn't you make all A's? What's this C doing on your report card? You're not going to get that scholarship!
Growth-obsessed Parent : Let's explore the subjects where you were strong. Wow-look how you've grown! I love how you've improved in science.

3. Schedules: We must replace CLUTTER with SIMPLICITY.
According to Dr. Robert Leahy, the average teen today has the same  level  of anxiety as a psychiatric patient did in the early 1950s. Stress levels have continued to climb for more than seventy years. This is absurd. Part of our problem is the complications we face daily. Noise. Screens. Busyness. Information. Pings. I believe humans are not hardwired to consume the volume of data we do each day. We need margins for our mental and emotional health. What if you became more intentional about clearing the calendar and creating space for unsupervised play or relaxation? What if you made your students choose one or two activities and not do them all? Research tells us that when our days have margins we actually develop empathy and creativity.

Cluttered-life Parent : Quick, suit up or we'll be late for your soccer practice, piano lesson and karate match. Hurry, we don't have time to mess around.
Simplified-life Parent : Let's plan to participate in just one extra-curricular activity this fall. It will leave time for family, house chores and unscheduled fun.

4. Identity: We must replace UNCONTROLLABLES with CONTROLLABLES .
Stanford psychologist Dr. Carol Dweck taught me this. In her book, Mindset, she suggests we naturally tend to have a "fixed mindset." We assume if we make a bad grade in math, we're just not good at math. It's a fixed fact. Or, we just aren't good readers, or good communicators. She says we must cultivate a "growth mindset" in our students. We must treat our brains like a muscle that can grow. Then, parents and instructors must focus on encouraging variables that are in their control, not out of their control. Instead of flattering them for their beauty, we affirm their integrity, which is much more in their control. When we encourage controllable qualities, we empower our young to grow and encourage good priorities. What gets rewarded gets repeated.

Fixed-mindset Parent : You're just not good at math; you just aren't a natural student. Your sister is the smart one in the family.
Growth-mindset Parent : You may not be good at math . . . yet, but one day you will be. And I do appreciate your honesty and I love the empathy you show your friends.

5. Feedback: We must replace emphasizing BEHAVIOR with emphasizing BELIEF .
I recently met with a focus group of parents. While they were all very engaged in their role as moms and dads, one reality surfaced that surprised me. It was the level of anger they expressed toward their kids-short tempers, bursts of emotion, sometimes loud yelling. This tends to equate to punishing our children when they misbehave instead of disciplining them. We look backward and retaliate instead of looking forward and incentivizing better behavior. When offering feedback, my kids respond far better when I speak from "belief" in them. This means I convey the thought: "I know you're better than what you just did." When I correct students because I'm convinced they're capable of more, I call out the best in them, rather than the worst. Too many kids are fragile and need us to get this one right.

Behavior-based Parent : I can't believe you did that. What is wrong with you? You never get that task right!
Belief-based Parent : I'm giving you this feedback because I know you're capable of exceeding my expectations. I've seen what you can do.

Here's to replacing our human tendencies with visionary leadership.

From the Desk of Mr. Bill Huber
Asst. Principal & Director of Diversity
If your daughter is taking an ACP dual credit class through UMSL, and she wishes to receive college credit, she must follow the steps below. Registration for Fall classes is now open. Registration will remain open until Friday, September 9th. I myself enrolled in a mock class, and it is a very simple process if students have all the pieces of information.  
 
Students do need to know three important pieces of information before they register:
1.     Social security number (no need to remember the student's UMSL ID)
2.     Parent/guardian email
3.     What class or classes (have your daughter ask her teacher or teachers)
 
To sign up students must: 

1.   Go to the following webpage (click here) and click on the red "Register" button.

2.     Fill out all of the forms to the best of her ability.
 
Once a student has completed the form, I will receive a notification from UMSL and I will sign-off on the student's GPA. Once this step is complete, a student is good to go.

In regards to payment, UMSL will bill you directly. You will receive no bills from Incarnate Word Academy regarding dual credit classes. The cost is $64 an hour (3 hour class = $192). The first bill usually takes a month or more to come. The bill will be addressed to the student so be careful not to discard it.
 
Some yearlong classes register at different times. If the student is taking a World Languages class (Spanish or French,) make sure she registers in the Fall semester. If the student is taking Honors American History ACP, she will register in the Spring semester.
 
If you have any questions at all, please do not hesitate to email me. 
 
Thank you,
Mr. Huber 

 
From the Campus Ministry Office:
Upcoming Retreats:
1. On August 30th the Seniors were given their permission forms to attend either Kairos #30 Retreat on Oct. 26-28, 2016 or Kairos #31 Retreat on Feb. 15-17, 2017.  Both of these retreats will be held at the Pallottine Renewal Center.  All retreat forms including the medical release forms are due no later than Friday, September 9, 2016.
2.  On Tuesday, September 6, the Freshmen will be given their permission forms to attend their Freshman Retreat at the Maria Center on October 6, 2016.  These permission forms are due no later than Thursday, September 15, 2016.
3.  On Tuesday, September 6, the Sophomores will be given their permission forms to attend their Sophomore Retreat at the Cardinal Rigali Center on October 10, 2016.  These permission forms are due no later than Thursday, September 15, 2016.
 
Upcoming Liturgies:
1. We will be celebrating our Founder's Day Mass on Monday, September 12 at 10:00 a.m. in the Theater.  We will remember that Bishop DuBuis founded the congregation of the Sisters of Charity of the Incarnate Word and that Mother Peter Nolasco Keenan was the first principal of Incarnate Word Academy.  Father Art Cavitt, Executive Director of the St. Charles Lwanga Center, will be our celebrant.  Kyle Huelsing from St. Joseph Cottleville Parish will be our music minister.  You are welcome to join us at our Liturgy.
2. Our Homecoming Mass during Spirit Week will be on Saturday, September 17th at noon in the Theater.  The Golden Girls - Class of 1966 - will be honored at this Liturgy.  Father Patrick Ryan will be the celebrant.  You are very welcome to join us.
 
Service:
1.IWA's team, "The Word Speaks" will participate in the Walk for Autism at Forest Park on Saturday, October 8 from 8:30-11:30 a.m.  All students are encouraged to join IWA's team and application forms can be picked up in the Campus Ministry Office.  The registration fee is $20 which includes the donation to Autism Research and the team t-shirt.  All forms and money are due no later than Friday, September 23, 2016.
2. Volunteers are needed to help at the St. Vincent DePaul Thrift Stores.  An informational flyer is posted on the Campus Ministry bulletin board or contact Ms. Pitti at gpitti@iwacademy.org for more information.

Thank you,

Geri Pitti
Campus Minister
 
From the Office of Mission Integration: 
MOTHER TERESA as OUR GUEST!
 
As Sept. 4, 2016 will be the celebration of Mother Teresa of Calcutta's being canonized as an "official" Saint, I thought you may enjoy this story.  I was living and working at St. Margaret's Treatment Center in El Paso, Texas when Sr. Yolanda Tarango, another CCVI who worked at the Catholic Youth Office, told us the exciting news that Mother Teresa was going to be the Keynote Speaker at the upcoming youth convention in El Paso in May, 1976.  Ruben Garcia, Director of the Youth Dept., had called Mother Teresa's Order in India, the Missionaries of Charity, to ask if she could speak at this convention and share her powerful message, to which she agreed.  She requested that her visit be kept very private with no reporters.  She joined our community of seven Sisters of Charity of the Incarnate Word in a very gentle, friendly manner. Her eyes were like two sparkling jewels and her skin showed the lines of India's hot temperature.

At the convention, with about 600 teenagers and some parents, she spoke of the theme for the year, "Feeding the Hungers of the World."  However, she did not emphasize physical hunger, but rather hungers of the heart - for love, for kindness, and for thoughtfulness.  She asked all present to go home and talk with their family members, especially those with whom there may be some conflicts.  The crowd was most attentive and I believe they really grasped her message.
When we returned to our convent we asked if she'd like any food and she said half an apple.  Later, when she'd gone to her room, I decided to eat the other half of the apple - so now claim we shared an apple!  Mother Teresa washed her sari (habit) and said I could put it in the dryer, but not to iron it.  She'd fold it and put it under her pillow to "press" it.  Before I returned the sari, another sister and I quietly put it on ourselves and felt we were in a holy garment.

In the morning Mother Teresa walked around our grounds, visited our children who had emotional problems, and encouraged them and our staff.  Her visit and her joyful Christ-like witness in all she did in her quiet manner have greatly influenced me.  One of my favorite reflections is her saying that perhaps the last few minutes of a person's life, as they're being lifted off the street and brought to a safe shelter, may be the only awareness they've ever had of their own dignity as a Child of God.

I know this is getting much too long, so I'll stop and invite any of you who may want to talk about Mother Teresa to contact me at IWA.

Sr. Eileen O'Keeffe, CCVI                                      
Director of Mission Integration





From the Counseling Department: 
Junior Parents/Guardians: All juniors will be attending a local college fair at Pattonville High School on Thursday, September 29.    They will leave campus at 12:30 and return at 2:50.    Many local colleges will be at this fair, and it is a great opportunity for the girls to begin assessing their options and learning how to interact with college representatives.

Senior Parents/Guardians: College application time is upon us! Mrs. Goldberg is holding individual meetings with each senior to discuss college applications and decisions. Please encourage your daughter to schedule the meeting early and begin the process as early as possible - let's go get some acceptances!

If you have any questions or concerns, you can reach me at  (314) 725-5850, ext. 1117  or at  egoldberg@iwacademy.org .

*****************************************

Reminder to Parents & Guardians,

This year the Counseling Department will be offering a variety of counseling groups in an effort to support our students better.  A flyer about the groups is availble. Please click here.  I encourage you to talk with your daughter about joining a group and coming in to see me to sign up.  Feel free to reach out to me with any questions.

Sincerely,

Karen Banks, M.Ed., LPC
Social, Emotional, & Academic Counselor


Reminder from the Finance Office: 
Smart Tuition September Invoices

The following items have been added to your Smart Tuition September 2016 invoices, if applicable:

1.   Athletic Fees $100.00 for Fall Sports teams including Dance Team and  

      Cheerleading

2.   1st Semester Art Class Fees $30.00 - $40.00 varies by class

3.   Algebra Math Program - $35.00

4.   Geometry Math Program - $35.00

5.   AP Chemistry Program - $60.00

6.   Yearbook Class - $25.00

7.   Bus Service - $300 - $500 spread over 4 or 8 months


From the Athletic Office:
Great First Two Week of Contests!!!

Our Tennis and Volleyball teams opened their seaons with JV & V both beating St. Dominic. Tennis had another solid 9-0 victory over Parkway North. JV & V both had big wins over McCluer North as well. The team battled against Villa for a comendable 3-4 loss. The Whitfield match has been rescheduled for Sept. 14th in place of Barat Academy who was unable to field a team. Volleyball JV & V had a strong win over Whitfield on last Wednesday and traveled to Bentonville, AR to compete in a tough tournament. They are building team and tradition with each contest. They travel to Washington, MO to play St. Francis Borgia this evening. Softball has a battle against St. Dominic last Tuesday. Jade Gates had two home runs but the team came up a little short at 12-13. There was exciting play from all the Red Knights! The Summit Tournament had 24 teams and the Red Knights finished 4th beating big school Oakville to reach the semifinals. Last night the Red Knights had a 4-2 victory over McCluer North before the rain came in the 5th inning. Cross Country had an excellent showing in their first meet at Parkway Central and are planning to build on that performance in the Lutheran South Inv. this afternoon. Our Golf program had a busy week and tallied some wonderful scores. On Monday they beat Notre Dame 215-264. Low score went to Freshman Catherine Salem - 51. On Tuesday, JV won a tough tri-match over St. Joseph's Academy & Westminster - IWA-218, WCA-234, SJA-235. On Wednesday, Varsity beat Francis Howell North 189-215 with Ashley Fite tallying low score of 44. On Thursday the winning streak was halted by Villa, but scores were far better than previous years. Ashley Fite had another low score of 44. The season looks bright for the Red Knights. They will complete their match against McCluer North this afternoon.


Always a Great Day to be A RED KNIGHT!

Lisa P. Orlet '87
Athletic Director
lorlet@iwacademy.org

 
    
  THINGS TO NOTE:

Homecoming 2016
Saturday, September 17th

4PM
Parade through Bel-Nor

4:30 PM (immediately following the parade)
Pep Rally
Freshman/Sophomore Game
Junior/Senior Powder-puff Football Game

6 - 8 PM
BBQ & Live Music
Bring your lawn chair & enjoy a night of good food, cold drinks & live music!

***We are still in need of convertibles for the Homecoming parade.  If you are able to drive or know someone who is, please contact Susie at  suclark@iwacademy.org ***

***********************

PLEASE NOTE:  The Police Dept. of Bel-Nor has asked us to inform you that they have been receiving complaints of our students driving too fast through the neighborhood.  PLEASE remind your daughters to obey the speed limit at all times. 
We have also reminded them at school. Tickets will be issued.

  Thank you.


UPCOMING EVENTS:


Friday, Sept. 2nd - No Classes

Monday, Sept. 5th - No Classes
                                - Labor Day

Tuesday, Sept. 6th - Regular day of school
                                 -  In the evening, class level meetings for parent/
                                    guardians only - 6:30 pm
                                 - Back To School Night - 7:00 pm
                                 
Wednesday, Sept. 7th - Late start - HR begins at 9:00 am
                                       - HR - Class meetings

Thursday, Sept. 8th - Regular day of school

Friday, Sept. 9th - Regular day of school
                             - Picture retake day - begins at 7:30 am - theater foyer

September 12th - September 16th - SPIRIT WEEK

Incarnate Word Academy | 314.725.5850 | www.iwacademy.org