People have been talking a lot about "compassion fatigue" lately.  I presume it has become a topic due to the mass shooting at the Pulse nightclub and the community response to that event.  Yesterday I attended a presentation by a Buddhist monk, who is also a medical doctor, on the topic.

He says it is not really compassion fatigue but empathy fatigue that is the culprit.  Compassion being what we feel for someone who is having a bad time of it versus empathy which is actually feeling the other person's pain. 

He also said that much of the pain that people feel comes from inside themselves.  Bad feelings like anger and guilt can be minimized by reducing our own negative self-talk and by trying to understand the basis for the unpleasant emotions.  Of course this is easier said than done and is not something a person can do over night.  It takes practice.

I was thinking that there is a lot of this "fatigue" going on in the caregiver world.  It doesn't take a huge and unusual event to realize that caregivers are both caring and giving every single day.  I have met so many who feel inadequate in the face of the circumstances that made them caregivers in the first place.  Illnesses that not only can't be cured but that promise to get worse cause worry and sometimes anger and more often than not, guilt. 

This month we offer you some time to rest and regroup at our Annual Caregiver Forum.  Hopefully you will leave with some new skills for taking care of yourself.  And maybe you will realize that rather than beating yourself up about not being good enough, you can instead spend time patting yourself on the back!  And if you don't, we will!!  See you at the Mission Inn...