Based on a Naaleh.com shiur by Rabbi Hanoch Teller
A key component to achieving happiness is gratitude. Religious Jews have the obvious edge, because we're taught from a young age to make a
bracha
(blessing). A blessing connotes appreciation. We don't just stuff our mouths with food. We take a moment beforehand to feel grateful for what we have. Preferably before making the
bracha
, a person should hold the bread with ten fingers and think about the ten acts of labor that went into producing the loaf. There was plowing, sowing, harvesting, winnowing, threshing... People think bread comes out of a bag on a shelf from a supermarket when in fact so much effort is invested. The more one thinks about this the more thankful and joyous one becomes.
Many years ago, I was on a flight to America with Rav Aryeh Finkel and Rav Aharon Chodosh. They asked me to sit next to them. But my policy is that whenever I travel, I prefer to sit next to someone who is not religious. It's my chance to try and impact others. I introduced myself to my neighbor and he told me, "I am
chareidi chiloni
." That means zealously irreligious. His wife was
chozeret b'sheila
. She grew up strictly observant and then kicked the fold. I go into my
shpiel
. Nothing doing. Dawn creeps in through the windows. Rav Aryeh Finkel jumps up. Here's his opportunity to say
birchat hashachar (
the morning blessings
)
. He puts on his hat and jacket and begins. The couple next to me freaks out. A few minutes later he goes to the bathroom, comes back, puts on his hat and jacket, and goes back into the windup. The man next to me can't contain himself, "Now, what is he doing!" I say to him, "Sir, I don't know how to explain this to you, but there's a special blessing we make when we come out of the bathroom. All you have to do is go to the hospital and see all the sick people. If there's a rupture or a blockage in a person's body he's in horrific pain. Suddenly he turns to me and says, "You know, you've got a point." For the next six hours we're talking religion all the way to America. Rav Finkel's bathroom blessing turned him around.
In seminary, I teach a class on prayer. The first class is about
Modeh Ani
, the prayer we say upon arising in the morning. I ask my students, "What do you think when you say
Modeh Ani
?" If you get up in the morning and think, I'm grateful I'm alive, it's a wonderful way to start the day. When the Jewish people were in the desert, Hashem gave them the
mohn
. It came right to their door, it nourished them. It turned into any flavor they wanted. Still they complained. Nothing is good enough for an ingrate whose typical hymn is, "What have you done for me lately?" Past favors mean nothing to him.
An acquaintance of mine is in jail in Israel and I try to visit him as often as possible. On
Chol hamoed Pesach
, I saw a religious family engaged in Torah learning as they waited to visit their son in jail. He was accused of damaging police property at the demonstration in Atzmona. His wedding was postponed and during the year and a half that he was imprisoned, he finished the entire Talmud. I visited him and he was so grateful. He's such a happy person. Gratitude breeds joy.
The Steipler would go to Petach Tikva on a monthly basis to thank a person who once did him a favor when he was a little boy. Rav Soloveitchik would travel from Washington Heights to the Bronx to thank a woman whose father did her father a good turn. Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach went to a wedding in the snow because the person was helpful in a
shidduch
for his grandson.
Show appreciation to family members, Rabbis, and teachers who've benefited you in any way. Write them thank you notes or give them a small gift expressing your gratitude. It's so important to cultivate gratefulness by thanking others and showing you appreciate and value what they've done.