It's February...Is Love Really All We Need?
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The Beatles said it so well, come on, sing it with me: “All you need is love, all you need is love, love. Love is all you need.” But is it really?
There are many different kinds of love. Webster describes a few:
1:
strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties;
affection and tenderness felt by lovers; affection based on admiration,
benevolence
, or common interests; an assurance of affection
2:
warm
attachment
, enthusiasm, or devotion
3:
a score of zero (as in tennis)
And let me tell you, some of my “love” experiences have been a big fat “0”!? Lol.
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Have you ever studied love? I remember taking a psychology course in college that introduced me to “Dr. Love” -
Leo Buscaglia
. I remember his books resonated with me as he explored the intricacies and challenges of our love relationships. Perhaps he was a predecessor to Dr. Phil!
Then, in my early 30’s I was introduced to Gary Chapman’s,
The 5 Love Languages
. That is when I truly had an “ah-ha” moment! Are you familiar with them? Even if you are, you may not be aware of the many different editions in multiple languages he has written. These books help to identify a personal love language, those of a mate or partner as well as recognizing a child's love language. If you are aware of these you know how impactful they can be for even a healthy relationship. If you aren't aware, I encourage you to peruse Amazon to take a look at all the choices and start reading in whatever format you like best!
You can also take online assessments to determine your love language, your apology language and a personal anger assessment. These are great tools! Enjoy the journey!
Discover Your Love Language
.
Dr. Gary Chapman advocates that there are 5 love languages (you can find out more details about each of these on the website provided above):
Quality Time, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Receiving Gifts.
He says that we tend to love others the way we want to be loved. But is our love language the way someone else feels love?
Wait a minute, we don't all have the same love language??
Absolutely not! Each of us tend to have a primary and secondary love language. The point of understanding the 5 Love Languages is to be able to love in
ALL 5
of the love languages not just the ones that fill our own emotional love tank. We want to fill the love tanks of all people in our lives whether they are family, friends, or coworkers. When someone's tank is filled they feel appreciated, valued, worthy, and LOVED!
Specifically in
The 5 Love Languages of Children
, Dr. Chapman shares that once a child reaches the age of five, you can start to identify their love language. Here are some tips:
- Ask the child how they know Mommy or Daddy loves them. You might hear answers like, when we snuggle together and he reads me a book (Quality Time) or when she helps me with my homework (Acts of Service).
- Watch how they love others. If a child loves to color drawings and present them to others, their primary love language is probably Receiving Gifts. If they run up and throw their arms around someone for a hug, their primary language is probably Physical Touch. Or if a sweet one says, "you look so pretty today Mommy," probably Words of Affirmation.
- Put them in situations where you ask them to choose which love language they want to do.
For Teens (age 13-17) there is an assessment on the website. One of our former trainers used this when she started teaching middle school and it was a big hit with the kids! And, it made her a better teacher as she learned their love languages. It can also be infectious! As I was preparing for this newsletter, a coworker's son was in the office due to school being closed because of the flu. (Stay healthy everyone!) He took the assessment and immediately wanted to do it with his Mom and Dad! How cool is that!!!
Love languages can change over time, don't hesitate to take an assessment again even if you think you know your love language.
So even if you think you know everything there is to know about love, not everyone around you does! Be a LOVE BUG and spread the joy!
Because, really all we need is love! I'd
love to hear
how you like to share the love!
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Kathy Daley
Consulting Trainer
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Kids' Connection, Too
Friday, February 23, 2018
Kids’ Connection, Too
is an innovative, award winning program developed by Rainbow Days, Inc. to serve children living with their parents in shelters or other transitional housing situations. This program can also be beneficial to children who have been impacted by Hurricane Harvey.
Kids’ Connection, Youth Connection, Faith Connection
and
Kids’ Connection, Too
(collectively known as the
CBSG
®
Program
) are unique, interactive, multi-cultural curriculum-based prevention interventions that teach high-risk children and youth ages 4-17 a set of essential life skills: skills to help them learn how to cope with difficult family situations (which include Adverse Childhood Experiences), resist negative peer pressure, set and achieve goals, and refuse alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs.
This training
is designed to fully prepare schools, community-based organizations, churches, juvenile justice divisions, volunteers, and other youth service professionals to fully implement the
CBSG Program
with fidelity. Those completing this training will receive a copy of
Kids’ Connection, Too
for Ages 4-15 in Homeless & Domestic Violence Shelters, Group Homes & Other Transitional Living Environments.
This training is open to any individual or program interested in implementing a
CBSG
®
Program
.
LOCATION:
The United Way of Greater Houston, 50 Waugh Dr.,
Houston
, TX 77007
TIME:
8:30am - 4:30pm
(
no partial credit is given. You must attend the full day to receive the curriculum and certification
)
COST: FREE
- but space is limited!
Registration
prior to training is required.
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We Want to Hear from YOU!
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Have you been facilitating the
CBSG Program
with children and/or youth and have some success stories you would be willing to share?
We would love to hear your stories of the lives you are changing for the better!!
Please email
Sandi McFarland
and you might see your story in a future
Trans4ming News
newsletter!
Please remember to not share specific details or names. A Permission to Print form will be sent to individuals whose stories have been chosen.
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The Trans4m Center | 214.887.0726 | trans4mcenter.org
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STAY CONNECTED
@trans4mcenter
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