Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. (John 14:27)

What are your fears?

I have a ton of them. And at times they can feel very real and can crowd my heart and mind.

The more I look for peace in the world the more I find partial peace. It doesn't reach into my deepest fears, like losing the people I love. Or get at the fear I harbor, that aches for a world where children aren't protected. Or restore trust, when I lack confidence in leaders. One of the consequences of maturing, is to have been disappointed in others and worst of all, knowing I have disappointed others.

I fe el  I am not enough.   And that ma y  be what I need to  remember .  The truth is,  I am not enough  alone . I never will be. I also want to remember I don't have to be , for God is with me always . In my most fear-filled and vulnerable moments, I   hold tightly onto God's Word.   

Recently, we watched a video of a scene from the Gospel of Matthew when the apostles were in the boat and a storm came up. They appeared mighty fearful! Then they see Jesus through the wind and the rain and he is walking on water. Peter wants to go to him. He steps out of the boat and he too, is walking on the water. His eyes are on Jesus. Then, suddenly he thinks about what he is doing, and he begins to sink. The image stays with me of Peter's foot touching the water. It is a critical moment. Will he use his head and know he can't walk on water or will he trust his heart and have faith in what God can do? I think of how often my foot is touching the water and I, too, must make that choice.

I am so clear about what I can't do. Faith is to be a student, continually learning what God can do.