For as much as you'd like to channel the glam of Nigella or the down home cosyness of Martha Stewart you know in reality the author of your Christmas film/story is Tim Burton meets Poe. So here's a little salve that even Estee Lauder can't deliver this year to ease those frowns and robin's feet around the eyes; all the reasons why you should not sweat the small stuff – and as you personal development divas and dudes know (come on it's panto season – let's say it together) – it's all small stuff!!!
Here are 10 things you don't need to worry about this month and beyond:
- Pre-preparing – Let go of control. We can control a lot less in life than we think we can. Relinquish the need to plan life to the finest detail and thus setting yourself up for upset when reality and relatives don't live up. It's all a mystery and therein lies the magic. Enjoy the ride.
- Turkeys – Fear of failure. We all fail. No one has a 100% success rate. It's called living and trying things, experiencing life, being your potential, taking a risk, having a go and learning. Do you only play to win? What if it was a learning curve that guaranteed a life well lived? Play your hand.
- “I want what he/she has got” - Compare and despair. When you unfavorably compare your life with others you will lose 100% of the time. Be grateful for what you have, honour your own journey. You've no idea what goes on behind the scenes in someone else's life.
- The Present – If you are feeling sadness you are thinking or living in the past. If you feel anxiety your thoughts are in the future. The present is where peace is.
- People pleasing – yes we all want to give generously and make others happy. But when you dance to someone else's tune, and are trying to gain acceptance and strive for compliments you put your power in the hands of others. Be your own energy source.
- Looking good – None of us are happy with the shape we are in. Big butt, bad skin, sagging jaw, lumpy nose, hair where even David Attenborough hasn't seen it – we are all great big neurotic bags of skin unhappy with our lot. I've coached semi-starving supermodels who part crowds when they walk who fret about every pimple and crease to a crescendo of stomach rumbling. Accept yourself and hone where you can. One day you'll look back and wished you looked like you do now.
- It's all stuff – Nobody went to their grave saying “I'm so glad I got that Dior pantsuit”. A friend, whose wealthy geriatric aunt was recently decluttering, saw designer shoes (no longer fitting because of arthritis), objets d'art too big to downsize and couture dresses galore. No more to be worn and sold off at bargain basement prices. Stuff. End of.
- Perfectionism – If you want to make a simple job complicated, a quick job last hours and to get hung up on detail when “good enough” would have sufficed then aim for perfectionism. It won't make you happy but you think it will. How will anything match up?
- Not having enough – we have a lot more than we need but we always want more. Try to develop an abundance mindset. Anyway there's a charity shop somewhere selling off someone ease's “no longer needs”. (See tip 7)
- Feeling unloved. I'm afraid that has to start with you. Self love sounds cringe-worthy but acceptance and even liking the self automatically makes you happier, life feels better and you become irresistibly attractive to others. You feel braver when you have love and compassion for yourself and can forgive easily your perceived faults.
If you do nothing else give yourself lots of love.
(Batteries are not included)
