Before our Fairmont students had their Thanksgiving meals at home with their families, they had an opportunity to feast at school with their family members and their Fairmont friends.

The Historic Anaheim annual Thanksgiving feast is one of everyone's favorite events of the year. This feast is not just an ordinary meal of turkey and all of the trimmings ---   there are several unique features that make this celebration so memorable and distinctive. First of all, the fantastic 6th grade servers are one of the special aspects of the feast. These students take time out of their day to help ---   from filling the trays with all of the beloved sides to seating all of our guests in the proper places, they do it all.

Another wonderful thing about the feast is all of the family and friends who join us for the scrumptious meal. It is so wonderful to see many so many moms, dads, grandparents, aunts, and uncles celebrate with us on this day. It is such a special kickoff to the holiday season.

While feasting with family and friends is a wonderful time, the best thing about the Thanksgiving feast is the readings by the students of their spectacular "I Am Thankful" writings. It is heartwarming to hear the students read about why they are thankful. So, if you weren't able to participate in the celebration this year, please join us in 2018 for another fantastic day of feasting.

Thanksgiving Meal Project

What memories do you have from your childhood? Many of mine involve spending countless hours running around the neighborhood with friends until the sun went down. I am not sure what we were doing the whole time, but I do remember that we rode our bicycles, played in the fall leaves, and acted out many make-believe scenarios.

How much time does your child have to play? And I do not mean a planned activity, craft, organized game or technology. How much time does your child spend being able to freely manipulate the world around him or her?

Your child is so fortunate to attend an amazing school where you know that he or she is getting stimulated throughout the day, both with playtime and academic opportunities. In our desire as parents to see our children excel, we often grasp for the tangible ways ---   like reading at home or practicing flash cards ---   to support their growth. As paramount to that growth are all the ways that we can stimulate their creativity and independence.

Caileigh Flannigan, a play practitioner who uses forms of play to promote children's development and emotional healing stresses the importance of letting children get outside and experience various forms of carefree play in her article " Let Kids Be Kids: Using Adventure and Nature to Bring Back Children's Play."

"When children are given such freedom to play, they are more likely to engage in higher levels of social interaction, cognitive skills such as decision-making and reasoning, empathy, and physical activity," Flannigan said. "In turn, they are less likely to become inattentive, anxious, or depressed and unhealthy." What can you do to encourage play?

After reading Flannigan's article, see if you can find a little corner of your yard or patio for your child to play with "loose parts." I hope that you are able to steal some moments to play freely with your child during this holiday season.

Kristen Jansen
Director of Early Childhood Education

When we are asked to think of a typical bullying scenario, many of us will pull from our distant memories of those moments in the school hallway when mean-looking, over-grown, loud-mouthed elementary school boys shove weaker, smaller lads into the lockers and demand their milk money ---   or else! While episodes such as these exist and must be addressed, there also exists another form of belittling, intimidating, and humiliating behavior from one peer to another ---   a form that is less talked about yet still prevalent. That is intellectual bullying.

This insidious form of harassment is less recognizable than the better-known physical forms of bullying yet is still damaging. Students often place themselves into "intellectual hierarchies" determined by grades, rankings, and participation in Advanced Placement classes, special academic clubs, and organizations. Problems arise when those at the top of these hierarchies belittle those at the bottom. This type of intellectual harassment wreaks havoc on a student's sense of self-worth, and these feelings of inadequacy can be carried around for a lifetime.

Intellectual bullies are indeed smarter and have higher IQs or excellent knowledge in particular fields of study. The problem lies with the sense of entitlement this type of bully assumes he possesses because of his intellect and, therefore, believes he has a genuine right to emotionally abuse peers who lack his cerebral prowess. The intellectual bully revels in making others feel inferior.

Teachers and parents can be lulled into false senses of security by thinking the adolescents who have good grades "have it all together" and need no further inspection into how they are managing their personal lives. Sometimes intellectually gifted individuals over-compensate for lingering childhood feelings of athletic and social inferiority. They use their intellectual talents as avenues to expose others shortcomings. What can happen, in turn, is that these individuals further socially isolate themselves from their peers. Over time, the intellectual bully may experience destruction in all of his or her personal and professional relationships. It is important to recognize if a student uses verbal attacks ---   it is a poor attempt to protect other sensitive parts of his or her psyche. Demeaning others, however, is not the way to self-actualization.

So what is the remedy? Helping that young person recognize that humility and empathy are powerful traits to possess is a good first step. Encouraging teenagers to look outward and do something for someone less fortunate without expecting anything in return is a great way to instill kindness in your student. As parents, we can praise our children for good deeds they bestowed on peers as easily as praising them for A's on tests. Self-worth comes not only from dedication to their studies but also in how they behave as human beings.

This may be a tough life lesson for that student who appears to have it all together, but the introspection now will surely benefit that teen far into adulthood when creating life-long connections with others.

Please feel free to contact me directly with any questions at (714) 999-5055, ext. 1456.

Jill Thomas, LMFT
Fairmont Private Schools Counselor
Supporter of the Fairmont Code