We had a wonderful time Sunday with all the children who attended the Children's Holiday Party. My favorite moments are when a child is initially terrified by Santa and refuses to sit for a picture much less interact with him, then watching them over the course of the hour watching other kids sit with Santa & get a present, and hugging Santa. Slowly they will warm to the idea of the jolly old elf and make a tentative move towards him, wave at him then move closer. Many, by the end of the hour, have sat next to him and been happy to do so, some are not ready but will be next year.
Like many aspects of our kids lives we need to sit back and let them take in the lay of the land, using their visual strengths to assess a situation, to calm themselves and feel safe and then participate on their own terms. This is one of the HARDEST lessons we as parent learn, we want so badly for them to enjoy all the magic and wonder of childhood as we remember. What we sometimes miss, is THEIR wonder and magic may lie elsewhere. Sometimes what gives our kids joy seems aberrant to us, but does that mean it can't bring joy to our kids? And are we right to deny them that joy?
Sometimes it is a challenge to find the right gift for our children on the spectrum. Let what gives them joy guide you.
The first year my son actually told me what he wanted for Christmas I was not very sure if he really wanted it or if it was simply delayed echolalia - since he asked for "CLAP ON, CLAP OFF ... THE CLAPPER and CHI CHI CHI CHIA . These items were being hawked constantly, always in tandem, on TV. I couldn't imagine why he would want them but each time I asked that was the response I got. So I bought both, and for good measure also bought his sister's chia pets. Christmas came and under the tree was the Clapper & Chia Pets. Ed couldn't have care less about the chia pet but he was thrilled with his clapper. Ed was very afraid of the dark and his bedroom only had a table lamp so to go into his room he had to walk into the dark to turn it on. The clapper was a perfect answer and he took great glee standing outside his room and clapping to turn on his lamp at night. He DID want the clapper, and I was totally bowled over with his problem solving skills. It wasn't a toy, it certainly wasn't typical but it was his heart's desire.
This year he is asking for a skateboard. So I am tasked with finding a skate board sturdy enough to hold his weight and then will have to find a place where he will be able to use it without killing himself, or me. But if it brings him joy, I'll find it, or make it, and sit back on Christmas morning knowing I was able to make magic too!
Have a great week everyone!
Sue
