There is a very revealing
Gemara
in
Sukkah
which discusses the advantages of doing
chesed
. The
Gemara
quotes Rabbi Elazar -"What does Hashem seek of you but to do justice and to love
chesed
and to walk modestly with Hashem." Walking modestly refers to escorting the dead and helping the bride get married. A funeral and a marriage are very public affairs. If we are adjured to do this in a private way, how much more so should we be inconspicuous with other things. Walking modestly also means making sure one attends for the other person's sake. Going to a wedding means being there for the groom and bride, not for yourself. If you're at a funeral and you're talking on your cellphone you're not there. You're certainly not showing respect to the family or to the deceased.
The Gemara teaches that doing chesed surpasses charity as it says- "Sow for charity and reap for chesed." When you sow you hope you'll have a crop but you do not know for certain if you will. But when you finally harvest you see the fruits of your labor. So too giving money to charity is like sowing. You're never certain how much of the money will actually go to the needy cause. But chesed is like harvesting. It generates instant results. The Gemara says that loving kindness surpasses charity in three ways. Charity is only performed with money while kindness is fulfilled with both money and one's body. Charity is fulfilled by giving money to poor people whereas kindness can be done with anyone regardless of their financial status. Charity can only be fulfilled with those who are living while kindness can be done with the living and the dead. People generally think that kindness is a positive attribute. It's not something that can be legislated. Secular governments can enact laws against stealing, killing, or speeding. But they can't expect people to be kind or warm hearted. Yet chazal say kindness is not merely a commendable act, but an obligation. While charity is generosity with money, chesed is generosity with time.
The Gemara tells us that the Torah begins and ends with acts of kindness. In Bereishit we read how Hashem fashioned clothing for Adam and Chava. Parshat V'zot Habracha concludes with Hashem burying Moshe. Likewise, the prophets understood kindness as one of Hashem's central demands on a human being. It says in Hoshea, "For it is kindness that I desire and not sacrifices." The whole point of Megilat Rut is not to teach us laws, says Avot d'Rav Nosson, but rather to teach us kindness. The prophet Micha taught that the three most important elements that man must fulfill is to do kindness, justice, and walk humbly with Hashem. The Mishna in Avot says that kindness is one of the three pillars the world stands on. Rav Leff further explains that chesed is the very foundation of the world. Torah stands on top, underneath it is avodah, and at the very base is gemilat chesed which holds up the world. The Gemara in Yevamot says one of the three traits that characterize a Jew is kindness. So much so, that if one sees a person acting in a mean spirited way one should investigate his Jewish lineage. The Gemara never says this about any other mitzvah.
As a rule it's always better to do kindness in a hidden way. Rav Ehrman notes that when we engage in kindness such as shopping for a neighbor or offering someone a lift we also fulfill the mitzvah of loving one's neighbor as oneself. The book, Chesed Boomerang, gives us some pointers on how to make chesed a part of our daily routine. 1. Pick up litter from the sidewalk and put it in the trash 2. Give up your seat on the train or bus for someone who might need it 3. Help a child or elderly person cross the street. 4. Allow someone into your lane in the highway 5. Give clothing to a homeless individual 7. Catch someone doing something positive and praise him for it. 8. If you're at a social gathering and you notice someone standing on the sidelines, go over and befriend him.
Rav Moshe Leib M'Sassov was a great lover of the Jewish people. His chassidim would say that their Rebbe was great but during the week between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur, he was even greater. In fact he would ascend to say Selichot in heaven. One misnagid decided to set these chasidim straight. He sat in ambush outside the Rebbe's house on a predawn morning. He watched as the Rebbe walked out of his house wearing the clothing of a poor person with a rope around his belt and an ax which he tossed over his shoulder. He went to the forest, chopped down some wood, and brought it to a poor widow. He then stooped down and lit the fire for her. The misnagid returned and the chasidim accosted him, "So now what do you think of our Rebbe. He did ascend to heaven, didn't he?" And the misnagid replied, "If not even higher."
