 |
| |
|
July 7, 2016 Twelfth Edition
|
|
|
In the next few issues of this newsletter I want to delve into the causes and behaviours of Reactive Attachment Disorder.
All the writings will be from my book,
I hope you will enjoy learning more about RAD, and how you can help to make a difference.
Love, Karen
|
|
|
The First Year of Life Attachment Cycle
|
|
|
In the first year of an infant's life they only have
needs
. An infant
needs
comfort, food, playtime, warmth, love, nurturing, and to be held, picked up, changed, and put to sleep. Fulfilling these needs promotes proper, healthy development as well as physical and emotional well-being.
By the time they approach their second year, infants begin to have
wants.
At this age they begin to
want
things instead of having only survival needs.
The first year of life is spent enthroning the child; showing them that their needs will be met, and that they are loved, valued, and special to their parents.
The second year of life is used to dethrone the child; at this point they should have a healthy parent-infant bond and can begin to learn the meaning and implications of "no", boundaries and limits, and to fit in with the daily schedule of their family.
|
|
|
The First Year of Life Attachment Cycle in its 4 parts:
1. Infants will have a need; they will need food, a clean diaper, cuddles, warmth, or comfort, etc.
2. Infants will cry to have their needs met; they will begin feeling helpless and hopeless, which prepares them to receive the love and nurturing that they require. If their needs are not met they will quickly escalate into a rage reaction and begin to cry loudly and to scream.
3. Gratification is when the infants' needs are met by their loving parents. At this stage infants need smiles, loving eye contact, touch, and movement (rocking , bouncing, etc.) to complete the gratification process of the cycle.
4. When infants have successfully gone through the first 3 steps of the cycle they can then begin to trust their parents. They will know that they are important in their parents' eyes and that they will be taken care of and have all of their needs met.
When the cycle is not properly completed, infants can lose trust in their parents. If their cries for help are ignored or met with anger and/or abuse, they will begin to rely on themselves for gratification. They will cry themselves to sleep and that becomes their gratification, and the cycle is broken before they can learn to trust others.
Infants go through this cycle thousands of times in their first year of life. Each time can either be a stepping stone to trust and a healthy image of self-importance, or it can lead to mistrust and feelings of anger, rage, deep sadness, and abandonment.
(A Glimpse at Understanding RAD; Chapter 2, 'What Causes RAD?')
|
|
|
--------------------------------------------------------
How Parents Use This in Everyday Life:
Parents that have a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder re-create the first year of life attachment cycle by having the child ask to have all their basic needs met.
When a child asks a parent for a drink, to use the bathroom, or to get a Kleenex, and a parent replys 'yes' to their need, the child will begin to trust their parent and realize that this parent will give them what they need to survive.
This is done with all children with RAD, no matter their age.
|
|
|
"A Glimpse at Understanding RAD" provides an insight into the lives of children with Reactive Attachment Disorder. In this book you will learn about the symptoms and behaviours of these children, how their past affects their present and their future, as well as the effects it has on their families and society today.
Whether you are a parent, professional, or simply a curious reader, this book will show you in easy to understand terms what RAD is all about, and what you can do to make a difference.
|
|
|
|
|
|
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a FUTURE.”
Jeremiah 29:11
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
