Listening Takes Effort and Humility

 

Ever have one of those conversations where it's obvious that the person your speaking with already has their next response before you have completed sharing your current thought?  Or had one of those conversations where you can't get a word in.  Ever walk away from a conversation feeling like your thoughts were not understood or acknowledged, regardless of consensus?  I vividly recall a conversation 20 years ago with an authoritative colleague, who took three breathes during a 30 minute monologue.  During this monologue he argued himself into a position, out of that position, and ultimately back into his original position.  There was no communication during that 30 minutes, which left me wondering why I and three people were even in the room.  He could have had this "conversation" in front of the bathroom mirror and it would have been just as meaningful.  By definition, communication is a two-way street.            

 

Bryant H. McGill, a noted American author in the fields of self-development, personal freedom, and human rights once penned that, "One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say."  Learning to listen to others takes a great amount of effort, self-discipline, and humility.  Each of us has thoughts in our head that we are eager to spill out, regardless of the thoughts of others.  It is not easy to focus one's mind on listening, comprehending and acknowledging the thoughts of others before sharing your own.  It takes a conscious effort to take what you have heard and evaluate it relative to your own thoughts and adjust your thoughts accordingly.  And it takes humility to admit to yourself that you may not have all the answers or know the full story.  It seems that there is a paucity of people displaying effort, self-discipline and humility in a great many areas as of late.  It seems that in all manners of discourse, we need to have a higher respect for others.

 

When someone develops good listening skills, they start to realize that things that you thought you knew may in fact be false, which leads us to another vital ingredient for critical thinking.  This is not to say that you should believe everything you hear.  There are plenty of nefarious agendas people promote.  However, it is good to listen closely and weigh what you hear critically against what you think you know.  The realization that what you perceive is not always true takes a level of self-evaluation that seems rare.  Perhaps I'm being pessimistic.  I'll keep paying attention in hopes that I am wrong.