The observation that parents often become engaged in ongoing, unresolved conflicts with their children is likely not too surprising.  However, what is more noteworthy is that these dynamics often remain unaltered even after family therapy, and, what's more, even after the child ages and becomes an adult.  The family system, and the relationships constituting it, seem prone to rigidity and the maintenance of interpersonal processes -- no matter how dysfunctional they may be.  I am often consulted by couples and parents who seek to break these patters and dis-embed themselves from the status quo in their relationships.  To help in this regard, I have recently developed an exercise to help parents understand what is actually happening in their relationships with their children and how to liberate themselves from ongoing struggles.  Based on my own empirical research and a scientific approach used in understanding the relational dynamics of couples, the exercise I have created consists of parents audio-taping a 12-minute dialogue with their child.  Once the dialogue is recorded, it is electronically sent for transcription.  Then, with the written transcript in hand, the parents apply to it a brief, easy-to-understand coding system that I will provide and teach them how to use.  The coding system consists of a catalog of negative and positive content themes that reveal the true architecture of the dynamics present.  So far, parents who have used the coding system marvel at how successfully it delineates the nature of longstanding dynamics which are finally crystallized in a form that can be understood and used for change.  If you are a parent who is interested in learning more about the coding system, please contact me directly at [email protected] or 949-338-4388.