As a species, we are socialized from birth to compromise various aspects of one's true identity in order to appeal to the primary caregiver.  Although we learn how to play roles in relationships early in development, role-playing continues into adulthood and even across the lifespan.  Every human interaction may be conceptualized from the vantage point of roles, as roles organize emotional experience, the hierarchy of power between individuals and groups, and the execution of tasks.  Human relationships, therefore, revolve around inhibitions and resistances to authentic intimacy given that roles provide an architecture of interpersonal experience and fend off psychological fears and anxieties about closeness.  

      In no other aspect of human life is this most apparent than in romantic relationships.  We unconsciously coerce or "induce" others to act in accordance with our role preference, and in turn we are coerced or induced to act in accordance with the role preferences of others.  These induced roles quickly set into motion a sequence of interactions that constricts a person's relational freedom, thus straight-jacketing the person into a role that, over time, becomes quite rigid and constraining.  

Understanding these induction processes, as well as the unconscious longings that generate them, are perhaps the most important keys to having fulfilling, surprising, and viable relationships.  In our next meeting on Saturday, March 15, 2014, I will discuss these induction processes, explain why they are so prevalent, and help participants learn how they may be avoided and/or dissolved.