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The Dating and Relationship Group
Types of Partner Choice
Zorica Markovic, a Yugoslavian psychoanalyst, has written an important article entitled "Psychoanalytic Conceptions of Marriage and Marital Relationships." The author describes two types of relationships as conceived by Freud: one in which the choice of the partner is based on narcissistic self-love, and the other in which the choice of the partner is based on "anaclitic/incestuous" motives, i.e., unresolved issues with a parental figure. The article then moves into a discussion of an array of other typologies of relationships proposed by psychoanalytic writers including the "injured third party," "love for a prostitute," "rescue," and "love for a virgin." You may be surprised by Markovic's assertions as to what kinds of relationship choices men vs. women typically make. The choice of a partner obviously suggests the personal dynamics and character features of the chooser. I have found in my clinical practice that the choice of a partner is perhaps the most prominent theme and poorly understood issue in the lives of most adults. In the next meeting of the Dating and Relationship Group on Saturday, August 2, I will unpack Markovic's article (it is somewhat complex) so that we can then use it for group discussion and reflection.
 The Men's Group "Why Men Are Afraid of Women" A blogger named Eric Francis provides an intriguing and provocative reflection on relationships in his article, "Why Men Are Afraid of Women." He thoughtfully summarizes the psychological fears and anxieties experienced by each gender for the other. Issues of biology, culture, and emotion color his observations, ultimately leading him to conclude that men and women are more different than alike. In the next meeting of the Men's Group on Saturday, August 2, we will focus on Francis' article and move to an open discussion of the important topics he raises, with an emphasis on how differences between the sexes can be understood from a perspective of fear, anxiety, power, and anticipated emotional injury.
In this youtube video entitled "Raising Resilient Children and Teens in the Digital World," a well-known Boston-based psychologist called Dr. Robert Brooks, along with his son Rich, discuss the role of parents' charisma in children's psychological and emotional development. Acceptance of the child's strengths and weaknesses, these presenters argue, is a significant parental function that can be more readily provided if the parent possesses certain qualities and internal self-regard.
Meditation, Mindfulness, and Buddhist Concepts
"So What is This Thing Called Mindfulness?"
In this podcast, Diana Winston (a speaker at the Spirit Rock Meditation Center in Northern California) offers a pragmatic and thoughtful introduction to mindfulness -- what it is, how it can be cultivated, and its positive impacts on one's mental and emotional life.
Psychotherapy
A Review of Narcissism Phenotypes
In this 2014 article, Aaron Pincus (Pennsylvania State University) and his colleagues provide an important review of the distinction between narcissistic grandiosity and narcissistic vulnerability.
If you plan to attend the Men's Group or Dating and Relationship Group on Saturday, August 2, 2014, please RSVP to Dr. Tobin at 949-338-4388 or [email protected] no later than Thursday, July 31. The Men's Group will meet at 10:45 AM to 12:00 PM noon, and the Dating and Relationship Group at 12:00 PM to 1:15 PM. The fee is $25.00, and there is a limit of 12 people for each group. Both groups will be held at The Water Garden Business Center, 23421 South Pointe Drive, Suite 130, Laguna Hills, CA, 92653.
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