As adults, it's our job to keep children safe. We put babies in car seats and teach them to use seat belts as they grow older. We make sure that they wear helmets when they ride their bikes and scooters. We can learn Darkness to Light's 5 Steps to Protecting Our Children™ and work to keep children safe from child sexual abuse.
Step 1 - Learn the Facts. One in ten children will be sexually abused before their 18th birthday, so it is highly likely that you know a child who has been or is being abused. Over 90% of children who are sexually abused know their abuser, and most child victims never report sexual abuse.
Step 2 - Minimize Opportunity. 80% or more of child sexual abuse incidents happen in isolated, one-on-one situations. By eliminating or reducing isolated, one-on-one situations with children, we are protecting them. We can choose group gatherings and have multiple adults supervise whenever possible. Those who sexually abuse children look for settings where they can gain easy access to children, such as sports leagues, faith centers, clubs, schools, and other youth-serving organizations. We can make sure the places we send our kids are using policies and procedures that prevent, recognize, and react responsibly to child sexual abuse.
Step 3 - Talk About It. The more we talk with children about their bodies, the more we protect them. Parents and caregivers need to have age-appropriate, open conversations with kids about their bodies, sex, and boundaries. Talking about body safety and healthy sexuality encourages a protective bond between caregiver and child, and it also gives children the knowledge and language that make them less vulnerable to sexual abuse. Talking to other adults about the issue of child sexual abuse helps to raise awareness and offer support to those who may need it.
Step 4 - Recognize the Signs. Know the signs of sexual abuse to protect children from further harm - but remember that in some children there are no signs whatsoever. By acting as a caring and concerned adult, you might notice when a child's behavior changes. When we see signs of distress in a child, sexual abuse has to be something we consider. We can reach out with patience and sensitivity and ask what is bothering them. Signs don't always mean sexual abuse, but it can be an indication that something is going on with the child.
Step 5 - React Responsibly. Understand how to respond to disclosures, discoveries, and suspicions of sexual abuse. If a child discloses sexual abuse to you, they have taken a huge risk. Give them compassion, respect, and belief. Listen to them calmly and openly, maintaining your composure and letting them do most of the talking. Tell the child, "I believe you. What happened is not your fault." Make a report to law enforcement or child protective services (now one number in the state of Colorado) by calling 1-844-CO-4-KIDS.
To learn more about Darkness to Light's 5 Steps to Protecting Our Children™, or to schedule a full Stewards of Children® training, call Robin Friesen-Holwell at (303) 444-1388.
By Robin Friesen-Holwell
Robin joined Blue Sky Bridge as the Prevention Education Manager in 2014. She has a Master's degree of Science in Counseling with an emphasis in Marriage, Family, and Child Therapy from University of Phoenix and has a Bachelor's Degree in Elementary Education and Psychology from University of Colorado at Boulder.
