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Living Differently is a newsletter of tips, ideas and information about grief, life and living after grief.
Grieving, like living, involves all areas of life; emotional, cognitive, physical, spiritual, social, relational, nature and universal. We delve into all these areas plus offer messages from the other side to help you in your journey.
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With much gratitude,
Chris
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Note From Chris
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Grieving, Gardening and Growing
In my neck of the woods (the Pacific Northwest of the US) we are knee-deep in the blossoming of spring flowers, birds and bees returning to their perspective feeders, lawnmowers humming and as temperatures rise, the soil is warming and getting ready for new planting. (At least most days when it's not raining because we still see a lot of that!)
I, for one, am really grateful for this metamorphosis and am anxious to revel in the coming changes in the landscape, people, animals and the energy that is transforming around me.
I know that all of you may not share my reaction due to your individual life circumstances. But I found that by standing back, taking a look and becoming conscious of my surroundings, much could be learned about life and the grief journey through nature and the changing of the seasons. There are great sayings, metaphors and learning to explore in nature and gardening.
Gardening and nature just might hold a different power for you when looking at this through different eyes... let's take a look..
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Living Differently Tip
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Living Differently Tip:
The following is from my ongoing messages/lessons/guidance shared by and received from the non-physical perspective ...my Guides, aka. Maxx
This message holds a mini-lesson for all of us...
(usually I hear a phrase, a subject or they make a comment and then they explain their lesson...)
Master of Your Garden
Be the master of your own garden. No one else came here with you to explore, to experience, to grow you. Your evolution of you is an individual matter. Arm yourself, for yourself to live through growing, flowing and knowing what you need and what you can provide for yourself to become and know who you wanted to experience. There is no rule; there is no outline as to how you present this to you as you created it and you shall develop it. It is the message of you that needs familiarizing to understand your procedure. Mastering you will be the greatest gift you will give yourself (I was thinking, what about love?)
because it includes love. That is why you chose this, that is what and why you asked to learn. Accept that you are the master of you, the designer of you and the redesigner when necessary. (Through suffering) Placing your foot in front of your other foot will be your path. Learn about you to see the light of you. A light has to be turned on to be seen. You hold your flashlight while you are exploring so you can recognize when your light is shining. Then light your own way with YOUR light. That is when you will discover and live the
Master of Your Own Garden.
Zac Comment:
In a conversation on September 11, 2002 Zac talked about our purpose...
"It's a day of remembrance, it's a day of infamy, and it's a day of understanding. Not only should people be reflecting, they should be understanding, they should learn from this. This is what this was all about; this was a lesson to be learned. Recognize what your values are and hold them dear. Trust them, use them, acknowledge them, and be them. Do what you can for others. That way you will do for yourself. There are a lot of horrible days in
history, there are a lot of lessons... you are not here just to "tra-la-la-la-la" through life. You are here to learn them and bring them back to us. We are learning from you now. We need to see what you are learning."
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Your spirit helpers are with you all the time, they want to help you and they have a way of letting you know in a way you will understand...
Your
job is to learn to trust them! You can have the comfort of your spirit guides and loved ones to ease the burdens of your physical life. I encourage you to embrace your connections.
Do you have questions? Please let me know..
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The Garden of You
There are Gardeners and Then There Are Gardeners
Spring is here (in the US) and many people will be turning their thoughts to nature, to planning landscaping projects and creating and/or redesigning outdoor projects and gardens.
Some of these ambitious souls may meticulously measure and calculate space or actions so as not to have to repeat their steps or plans. They may sketch a design, make lists of material and the right tools needed to complete the project and calculate a timeline for the project. They may consult a nursery or the seed packet for step by step instructions. They may carefully plot the steps so as not to miss one or to make sure that order is maintained until completion.
Although the gardener's plan does not have to be perfect, there is a known goal in mind and a specific path to follow to arrive at their destination. They will undertake the work in order to produce the outcome they desire.
These kind of plans are well established, utilitarian and sensible for the traditional gardener, do-it-yourselfer or week-end project warrior. And planning such as this can assuredly guarantee some degree of success based on the expertise and skills of the person undertaking the task.
Being Your Own Grief Gardener
As the grief journey is so difficult to navigate, understand, explain and experience, it makes sense to use stories, examples and metaphors as a way for the mind to accept and conceptualize it.
Using the metaphor of you as the gardener of your life is clear but difficult to grasp when you are treading the waters of grief. But by using comparable and contrasting components, it may help lay a foundation for changing your perception.
Individual journeys are not meant for sharing. Learning and experiencing can be shared but only for one's growth. Everyone has his or her own growth to be experienced in their journey because it is your own growth that advances your spirit.
Redesigning Your Garden
The grief journey is that of self-discovery. What you find is what you will live. Your self-discovery is a great awakener to what has been buried or undiscovered. Your pain, trauma and hurts cannot be alleviated until opened and felt. Therefore, it is you that is being discovered, not a specific pattern of living in steps or stages that all can follow to a place of "completion."
Unlike the weekend do-it-yourselfer's experience, this self-discovery is incorporated into your being and your living based on your awareness, knowledge, motivations, dedication, persistence, attitude and love.
Everyone has a choice in their journey. Being aware of that choice creates movement because YOU are the one creating the possibility for growth. You are the one who is aware of your growth. You are the one who loves yourself enough to teach, train and learn in order to recreate the new you; to redesign the YOU who is unfolding.
Grief shapes us. We redesign us. We redesign us within and beyond. We do a lot of deep walking through our garden and the tools we use will help us redesign our path.
Be a kind gardener to yourself as you grow. This is the greatest gift you can give yourself. Create enriched soil, plan for extra space and fluctuations on your path for you to unfold at your pace, be the supporter of you and nurture you. Be gentle with yourself as you walk with Mother Nature. Be your own mother.
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Mercury Goes Direct on May 22
nd
YAY!!!
Most of us have heard of "Mercury Retrograde" affecting communication, the mind, changing and shifting. This shifting might have encouraged you to focus on the past when you were trying to move ahead. (And some of us may have had computer problems and had to learn to view our life entire differently!)
Well, Mercury retrograde finally ends on May 22nd. We then move into the energy of Sagittarius which is spirituality, new horizons, expansion and growing. This means the energy around us is loosening up and setting us up for moving forward.
Due to this opportunity for movement, I suggest considering several ideas to take advantage of this energy at this blossoming time of year
1. Seek groundedness and accept self-care by connecting with nature
2. Breathe and give yourself the opportunity to observe your inner self
3. Have gratitude for where you are now and what you have already accomplished
4. Try something new. Go beyond your present comfort level. Ask yourself: is this light to me?
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What's In Your Toolbox?
If you are new to gardening, if you are planning your first garden or if you are making changes to your landscaping, you will need good tools to create, recreate, build or rebuild. Likewise, it also makes sense that you will need good tools when you are recreating, redesigning, reorganizing and rebuilding your life after loss.
Gratitude is one of the most helpful tools you can use when you are renewing your life after grief just as a trowel is when you are developing your outdoor landscaping. (A trowel is a hand tool for digging, smoothing and moving soil and plant material.)
I know, you may ask...how is gratitude a helpful tool? Just like your garden, time produces the blossoms and then with your efforts, the fruits of your labor appear. The garden of you also develops, grows and flourishes with sun, watering and nourishment for you to receive its gifts.
Bottom line:
know that light increases inside and outside as gratitude increases in your world!
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You Have a Delete Button
Did you know
you
have a delete button? Do you know where it is and how to use it?
You've heard the sayings: "The family that plays together stays together" or "The neurons that fire together wire together" or "Practice makes perfect."
These sayings mean the connections become stronger the more you use them. But neuroscience says there is more to learning new things than just building and strengthening neural connections (although we know how important THAT is in our continuing connections with our loved ones on the other side!)
Neuroscientists say it's also important to "break down" the old connections. (Actually this is called "synaptic pruning") But how do we do that?
To summarize and avoid too much technical discussion: neuroscientists say that you have brain cells that are the gardeners of your brain. These cells speed up the signals in your brain. Other cells "prune" the less used synaptic connections that are marked by a protein. These cells attach to the protein and "prune" the synapse.
Your brain prunes these connections while you sleep to allow the gardener cells to make room for new information, to process and learn. These gardener cells make efficient pathways while we sleep.
Even a 10 or 20 minute nap gives these gardeners a chance to clear away some of the unused connections so that there is room to grow new efficient ones.
How empowering to know we can use the delete button in our life by:
1). Thinking about what is important to you so the gardener cells will water and nourish the cells you want and not prune them because of non-use and
2). Understanding how important sleep and naps are to your garden of life.
Wishing you peaceful gardening this month...
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I'd love for you to check it out, see what you think * "Like" it * Comment * Share it *...
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and a final monthly thought...
I'm deleting, I'm deleting...
If you have questions, comments or subjects you'd like addressed in this newsletter, please let us know...
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Please visit my blog here. I'd love to hear your comments or questions or have you share your experiences of your continued relationship with your loved one.
For a whole lot of years now we have been sharing information about signs, celebrating your child's birthday, dreams, pet loss, parental loss, ADCs, continuing relationships, conversations with the other side, holiday grief, bereaved parents' grief and a whole lot more!
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Chris Mulligan is an intuitive grief guide, teacher and author of Afterlife Agreements: A Gift From Beyond who is passionate about inspiring and guiding others to choose to live differently after grief, to change their pain to hope and their suffering to living on. Her passion is fueled by her own transformation when her youngest son, Zac died in 2000 and she found herself enduring a shattered world she did not expect to inhabit. Receiving guidance through signs and communication from her son and other spirits, her life path shifted from living in grief to living on. She discovered her truth when she chose to open her heart and live life differently. From that place, she fearlessly created an abundant life full of gifts, gratitude and grace. A MS in Clinical Child, Youth, and Family Work, 25 years of Adoption Social Work, hospice volunteering, facilitating grief support groups and being her parents' end of life and transitional caregiver have taught her about pain and peace. She frequently speaks on panels and workshops for the bereaved and those working with the bereaved. She loves spending time with her husband and family of two dogs, Nina and Sam, four children and four grandchildren. She has been receiving images and messages from those on the other side for over 15 years and is currently writing a book incorporating their teachings. Go to http://www.Afterlifebooks.com to learn more.
With much gratitude, Chris |
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