In Bren� Brown's fantastic book Daring Greatly, she talks about Marble Jar Friends to explain the concept of trust. Bren�'s daughter experienced her first significant betrayal in third grade when she shared a secret with a friend who subsequently shared the secret with the class. The class was in such a tizzy over the share that they carried on to the point where the teacher noticed and had to put an end to the disruption. She kept a marble jar in the classroom. Each time the class did something positive marbles went into the jar. When the class did something hurtful or negative marbles were removed. Well, marbles were removed and Bren�'s daughter's experience her first life lesson in trust. 

When she told Bren� what happened, Bren� likened the concept of the marble jar to how trust is built, one marble at time. The Marble Jar idea is a metaphor to help determine who to trust and at what limits. Bren� says to "share with those who have deserved the right to hear your story." That takes trust and trust takes work...and time.    

Life is life and all relationships have some elements of marbles in and marbles out. They key is Marble Jar Friends have plenty of marbles in the jar that have built up over time. Marble Jar Friends are the people who can hold your vulnerability with care and understand what is important to you; can support your happiness without the urge to 'one up' you; shows up; encourages you to be brave and is there for you when you can't; shares willingly and avoids a scarcity mentality and they enrich your friendship with small moments and actions that show they care...really care about you. They circle back to address a trust breach when it occurs. It happens. Also, it is not about how often you see a Marble Jar Friend, but the quality of the exchange and the friendship.

The marble Jar is about building trust one marble at a time. Marbles come out of the jar when trust is nicked or breached. It can be a one marble moment or a handful fiasco! The concept is not meant to punish but a metaphor as to what happens with things of the heart. We are hardwired for connection but there are too many fabulous people out there to spend time with serial marble snatchers that leave you with empty jars!

I have a wonderful group of Marble Jar friends. I met one this past week, Bob Volle. Bob and I had not seen each other in years but it felt like I just saw him just yesterday! We chatted, caught up and of course laughed. Bob is authentic, truthful and holds space for our friendship.  He shared with me a quote he had on his desk:

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle."   

~Philo of Alexandria

I felt elated, encouraged and blessed as I walked away from our conversation...connection. Marble Jar friends are the way to go.  Who are your Marble Jar Friends?