Well, it's arrived. It's finally happened. When it happened to my brothers and sister, I couldn't believe it. And, now it's happened to me.
I turned 60 today. I'm not sure what 60 feels like but I don't feel 60. I'm not going to fight it, but embrace it. I celebrated with over a hundred of my closest friends Memorial Day weekend, with a theme of "
The Best Is Yet To Come!"
I truly believe that theme. Let me recount a couple of life adventures, what's happening right now, my goals for the next five years and what I've learned about dental practices in the last ten years.
The past ten years have been ones of transition. Ten years ago, I was caring for my parents. They've been gone for nine and five years now. I started my business so that my primary job could be to care for them. After Mom passed, it occurred to me that I could do anything now. I had a couple of potential position offerings outside of this industry. The consistent salary and benefits were enticing but I truly love what I do and I'm good at it, so why change?
I've now written 34 books - even just typing the "34" I was shaking my head. Some of the books on QuickBooks required little change because the portion of QuickBooks a professional practices uses changed very little that year. In 2013, I wrote a chapter for the American Dental Association's book, "The ADA Practical Guide to Expert Business Strategies." Right now, I am entering the final edits from my editor for book #35, to be released in the fall - Matters of The Heart: Caring For Aging Loved Ones.
I have literally spoken all over the country. It's been so much fun to meet new friends at every venue. My presentations have evolved over time and are often given while I am dreaming, trying to smooth over a particular new topic. I love the look on the audience's faces when they realize something they never knew before.
Affecting change is a passion that pours over in my speaking.
In the past ten years, speaking and writing books (and newsletters) was passive income and marketing which brought consulting and embezzlement cases. No longer a needed model, I've dubbed the past year as one of repurposing and restructuring my business.
I have all the needed skills to do what I enjoy but truly want to focus more on speaking as an entity in of itself. A greater number of people can be affected in a shorter amount of time. I am passionate about my messages and excited for future opportunities to speak in a variety of industries.
This thought has required me to put myself in a learning environment to restructure my presentation offerings. Having been a Professional Member of the
National Speaker Association, I have taken full advantage of their annual conference and my rather amazing North Central Texas chapter. Though I've been speaking since college, "only a fool thinks they know everything. A wise man knows how little he knows."
I would love to work myself out of having any embezzlement cases on my desk by affecting the change in practices before an embezzlement occurs. I've restructured the Embezzlement and the Ethics presentations for larger and smaller groups. In April, I presented a new one hour Ethics to a room of over 600 attendees. It was exciting and the audience was engaging. In March, I presented an all-day Embezzlement & Ethics course to a study club of over a hundred. Several had stated that they needed to leave at noon. No one left early. They told me at the end of the day that they were so riveted by the information, they were compelled to stay all day! What a tremendous testimony! It was a great day to engage the doctors and spouses in protecting their practices and it was a remarkable investment of their time.
Personally, the biggest change came last year. After a knee surgery the end of February, I found myself close to being unable to walk in June, just after turning 59. I was in pain but I had to take charge of my life. In the chaos of sixteen years of caregiving, "I" had slipped away. In the end, I had very little time for me when most of it was consumed with one of my parents (or both) and my work.
Maybe that's the meaning of a midlife crisis? I call it my own personal "come to Jesus meeting." My parents lived to be in their 90s. There's a good chance I will as well and I'd like to not be in a wheelchair so I took charge. Since the end of June 2015, I work out daily before anything else can distract me from that goal. My diet is gluten free which forces me to prepare my own foods and ask quite a few questions when eating out. I no longer drink sodas but mostly water and I've cut drastically back on my caffeine intake. I do still enjoy wine, so I've not gone completely crazy! I've lost weight, yes, but I've lost sizes more. It's been a frustratingly slow weight loss but the reality is that this is not a diet - it is a life style change. I'm certainly happier and so much healthier, and much farther away from knee replacement surgery than I was a year ago. I wouldn't change a thing.
My family has been totally supportive. My brother even cooked a gluten free Christmas dinner, which was no easy task. My sister had the family over this spring and cooked a completely gluten free meal. I have a community that I work out with in the mornings and when one of us misses, we are quickly texting them to make sure they are okay. No slackers at the gym! It is close and it's morning crew are people who just want to be healthy.
So, what does this all have to do with you?
We are never too old to pursue or repurpose our lives.
If we don't do it now, when will we do it? Why the dragging of our feet? I heard Rory Vaden speak this spring and read his book,
Take The Stairs. I had a couple (ok, more than a couple) of profound realizations when I read his book. I would encourage you to read it as well.
First, I had lived so much of my life to take care of my parents, I had no idea what I really wanted. It's almost as if I had forgotten how to dream.
How could I set goals if I didn't have a vision?
Secondly comes from a quote he is known for: "Success is never owned, it is only rented, and the rent is due every day." "The more clearly you see your vision, the more you can focus on it, and the more you focus on it, the more it draws you to action." Reading was something I didn't have time for over the years but I have read many books, as evidenced by my library. I truly found this book compelling.
It was probably a "right time, right place" book but I would encourage you to read it. It has thought provoking questions during the chapters, at the end of the book and online videos for you to discuss with your family and your team. I enjoyed it so much that my regional colleagues of the Academy of Dental Management Consultants has been reading it and commenting on a private Facebook page.
In the midst of what I've learned about myself, what have I learned about the professional healthcare market that I can pass along to you?
To the Doctors:
- Your heart's desire overrides and overcomes all the regulations and bureaucracy there is today. It can be discouraging, but do not lose sight of your passion. You look at teeth and get excited about the possibilities. I love that about you all. We do share passion, just in different areas.
- I understand you only want to do the clinical aspect of the practice. That is what excites you, but some of you would rather scrub toilets than work on your QuickBooks. I get it. But when you own a business, overseeing that business is a necessary evil, or evil will prevail in an embezzlement. You need just a few hours a week to do your QuickBooks (paying bills, payroll, etc.). The longer you avoid it, the more it feels like an albatross around your neck.
- Speaking of embezzlement, I know you want to completely trust someone so you don't have to do any business (see above), but an embezzler is always someone you trust. I've seen this over and over and over in the past ten years. It's heartbreaking and sad.
- You must choose to be ethical. I'm not sure why, but these past few months I've had to have heart to heart discussions with quite a few dentists on their choices to not deposit the cash payments received. One doctor told me all his friends did it so why not? Though I feel an article coming soon on ethics, let me briefly (and directly) state how stupid this is. This would be prosecuted as intentional tax fraud, which you would be made an example of by prison time and a heavy fine. As well, your staff knows you are not being honest, so why should they? You seriously do not gain that much in comparison with what you stand to lose, do you?
- Broaden your horizons, in both your business and your personal life. Don't become mediocre or complacent. Enjoy the changing times of technology and social media. They are not going away, so take some classes. Think outside the box on how to implement some of the available tools. These can be exciting times. Learning will keep us young!
- Along with passion, doctors are some of the most tender-hearted people I know. There is a reason they are in this industry. Most of you are completely honest and work hard in being both the clinician and the business owner. Kudos to you amazing doctors. If I can help you in any way possible, please let me know.
To the team:
- I've seen some amazing team members in the nation that truly deserve awards for making patients feel valued. My Mom was made to feel special by one of the local teams I would award. You have an opportunity daily to be a blessing to everyone that walks in the door. And, you have told me that in doing so, you feel blessed as well.
- Some of you have become friends over the course of time helping you with your QuickBooks. Some of you just call sometimes to say hi - what a hoot! I have enjoyed our time and look forward to hearing from you in the future!
- Do you have five year goals for yourself at work? I've asked this question many times when working with you. What new things can you implement at work that will not only make you more invaluable but will create a more exciting practice for the patients to visit?
For all of you:
- And, what about your personal life? Don't allow it to become stagnant like I did. Take charge - we get one go of this so let's choose healthy options for our lives. Get rid of all "unhealthy" people or employees or jobs or food in our lives.
- Become involved in your community. We all need to be involved in an external life - our church and/or our community. My dad used to say often, "you are either a part of the problem or a part of the solution." These past few years I've become very involved in my active and growing hometown, sitting on many boards, committees and foundations. It has stretched my thinking and understanding of how we can (and sometimes can't) work together. Sometimes involvement has created more chaos than desired but volunteer in accordance to your goals. If it's not in alignment, then volunteer with something that is aligned.
- Choose to let go of the past and strain towards what the future can hold for you. I truly believe that the best is yet to come. I'm in such a great place in my life. I did, however, choose to be here. We have daily choices. It starts with cutting loose a past that can anchor you in the muck and mire. Grief can do that as well. Ultimately, no one chooses your life but you.
Remember when our parents told us they didn't like a particular friend because of how we acted when we were around that friend or when we came home? They were right. As I celebrated my birthday with over a hundred of my family and friends for a very special evening gala, I realized this is what they were talking about. I have amazing friends that make me more amazing than I truly am. I chose them to come to the party so I could thank them for the past ten years. It was an overwhelming evening!
When you set your goals, choose who will help you attain those goals. They have believed in me, supported me, encouraged me, called me and loved me during all the tough times of the past ten years. The ones in that room never wavered and they knew it would be a fun party!
I know this was long but I wrote what's been on my heart. Thank you so much for your belief in what I offer to your community! I have truly enjoyed being included and am always honored to meet so many of you. I look forward to many more years together!
The Best Is Yet To Come - I believe it!
Very best regards - Susan
