The art of successfully social coaching children lies in the little memorable phrases that we weave into their interactions. A short, easy to remember, social code word or phrase can be used to quickly re-direct a child and turn potential social mishaps into social successes.
One phrase that I have been employing frequently in the past few weeks is working for many kids with helping them to manage impulsive actions that can negatively impact friendships. For example:
The child who grabs a toy or object from another child's hands.
A child who impulsively knocks over another child's building project.
The child who scribbles on someone else's drawing.
We are working with the phrase "ask before action" to help slow down the impulsive tendencies. It is most beneficial when the adult keeps an eye out for any signs of impulsive gestures and inserts this phrase into the situation before the child takes action. If the child has already done something impulsive, we can give a reminder about the importance of asking before taking action and helping the child make amends by handing the toy back and practicing how to ask or helping the other child re-build the project, for example. Improving small interactions like these goes a long way to removing the barriers to true friendship.
Donna Shea and Nadine Briggs are both accomplished social educators. They each facilitate friendship groups at their respective centers in Massachusetts. Both Donna and Nadine are parents of children with special needs.
Donna and Nadine offer consultation services for schools, parent groups, and human service agencies. They are seasoned public speakers who travel across the country to bring workshops and seminars to schools, conferences and other venues.
Donna and Nadine are certified in bullying prevention through the Massachusetts Aggression Reduction Center and are creators of the How to Make & Keep Friends Social Success in School Bullying Prevention Initiative that is used to provide classroom training and team-building activities at many schools.
Donna and Nadine would love to hear from you or your child if you have feedback about our books. They are also happy to speak with you about providing programming for children in your local area or just to keep in touch with you about new books and materials.
