Ha. The answer is never. Never. Ever, ever give up. Sometimes, though, that's how we feel. Have you ever caught yourself saying, "My work sucks anyway and nobody really cares," or "Maybe I'm not good enough," or "Maybe I'm not cut out to be a writer." Or maybe you're thinking we're just working along until we die, chasing the brass ring, running on the hamster wheel and maybe there is not enough creative mojo for the muse to grace us all. Feelings of scarcity are the worst motivator of creativity. They are in fact demotivating.
When I tripped and tumbled down the stairs while walking last year, l noticed something: my muscles began to guard and tense up around the injury. The same is true of the creative mind. Just like the physical body, when you face the trauma of everyday living, of hustling to make ends meet, it's easy to want to shut down. But that's when you need your creativity the most!
When you see other people's successes, you can easily feel like, why not me? Ever hear the saying, it took me 10 years of sweat and hard work to become an overnight success? What is success really?
Writers are the only artists I know who work in such isolation. It's impossible to learn and create in a vacuum. As a creative, you have to develop nerves of steel in order to guard against feelings of self-doubt and you have to continuously craft your work while coming up with new ideas at the same time. If you fell off the horse, get back up again. We have all been there.
What better way to do that but in a group? Musicians always practice in groups. Do you know of an actor who just does monologues? It takes hundreds of people to make one feature film. Dancers train together. What is it about writers that we feel we have to toil in isolation? That's no way to live or enjoy being alive.
I'm not a real writer, or am I?
This is a question I see writers asking themselves all the time. A few years ago, I used to introduce myself as a teacher. I never brought up that I was a writer because I didn't give myself permission. Now, it's the first thing I bring up. Yet, at the same time, when a writer is starting out in the several formative years before emerging, because of economic realities, they all have day jobs. As a writer, it's a delicate balance between figuring out what part of your life you need to use to make money, fulfill family obligations and what part of your life you can allot to making art. Then there's eating and sleeping.
Train like an Olympian
I took a writing workshop once and the instructor told us, "If you want to write, you have to train like an Olympian." He's right. Just as professional dancers take classes here and there for fine-tuning, so do writers. The only times an expert will be entirely devoted to your work and talk about it is when working with a teacher or an editor. In writing workshops the instructor is (ideally) also a creative master of the subject. But, she/he puts her/his work aside and holds the space open for the work to creatively blossom and makes suggestions about your own works-in-progress. The same thing is true with editors. Some editors are not writers, but they are expert readers. The point is. If you want to train, find a training ground. If you want to write, finding a teacher or an editor is ideal, but also find a group, a friend, a meetup, sign up at an open-mic night, go to readings. Don't stay in the underground.
Writing is a long, difficult road. It should have joy. It should have friendship. It should have the Greek concept of parea--togetherness. It needs that in order to be sustainable for you as the artist.
Communication with the Other
This is because writing is all about communication with the other. You have to practice on small audiences because reading your work to small audiences (in a classroom or a workshop, or at a reading) and measuring their feedback based on facial expression, what they told you they liked and how it sounds in a room full of people will guide you toward refinement. It will prepare you for the moment or moments when you are alone and when the audience is invisible-out there into the world, behind their computer screens or holding your words in books, and you will not get a chance to view their response. Hopefully, your work will reach them. But, part of crafting your art is wielding your words and manipulating them to fit with an audience.
If you are a writer, writing a book may seem like the ultimate goal. But, do you know any guitarists who don't pick up a guitar and jam when their friends are there and are saving themselves for a performance at Carnegie Hall? Do you know any actors who will only act in a feature film opposite Robert Deniro? Or painters who will only paint if they know they are going to hang that particular piece in a museum? Or dancers who refuse to dance when the music is going and the night is young? My point is: If writing is your passion, you must write. And if you are feeling low, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try again. Let somebody hold you accountable. We all need this reminder and we all need a pep talk from an editor or a teacher. Let this be yours. You are a writer for life. Taking breaks is normal. Now get back to work.