Dear Friends:
 Rabbis are not supposed to do long term counseling. My teachers at the Seminary emphasized that rabbis are not trained to be long term counselors. If we cannot help a congregant after a few sessions, we are supposed to refer them to a professional.
Most of the short term counseling I do is helping people make the right decisions. Men, women, or couples will come to my office and describe a problem they are facing. They say they don't know what to do. They tell me about their dilemma and ask what they should do. I don't tell them, but discuss their options with them.
Usually, they come to their own conclusion about what is their best choice. Having made the difficult decision, they breathe a sigh of relief. I nod and say, "That sounds reasonable. But you already knew that when you walked in, didn't you?"
 Most of the time, they did. Why, then, did they need to see me? Why couldn't they have found their answer by themselves? It is usually because they were so weighed down and distracted by the problem they were facing, they could not think clearly. What should have been obvious was clouded by emotional distress. Someone else had to encourage them to do what they already knew was right.
The Children of Israel leaving Egypt should have been an event of great joy and celebration. After so many years of enslavement, they should have been eager to escape. Yet the Torah says, "Now (va-yehi) when Pharaoh let the people go...." (Ex. 13:17), and our sages said that every time the Torah uses the phrase va-yehi, what follows is an occasion of sorrow.
 Give the Israelites' experience in Egypt, what could possibly be sorrowful about leaving? According to Menachem Beker, the sorrow was the Israelites' reluctance to leave. They were so used to slavery and so fearful of the unknown that they hesitated stepping into the desert. They knew a better future loomed ahead, but they panicked and were paralyzed. They couldn't move. They only left when Pharaoh pushed them out.
 Most of the time when we find ourselves in conflict, we know the right thing to do but our insecurities and worries prevent us from thinking clearly. If we are able to step back, take a deep breath, pray, meditate, and give ourselves some space, we can almost always reach the right conclusion.
Shabbat Shalom
,
Tifereth Israel Synagogue
San Diego, California
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