Begin the two longer practice periods for today by thinking about today's idea and realizing that it contains two parts, each making equal contribution to the whole. God's plan for your salvation will work, and other plans will not. Do not allow yourself to become depressed or angry at the second part; it is inherent in the first. And in the first is your full release from all your own insane attempts and mad proposals to free yourself. They have led to depression and anger. But God's plan will succeed. It will lead to release and joy.

Manipulating, planning, conniving and strategizing for our happiness is where we put a lot of energy to keep ourselves seemingly safe. What plans do you have that you think will bring you happiness? What do you want to be right about? What grievances are you holding and who needs to change or do something different in order for you to be happy? Our whole focus is on the idea that if someone acted differently we would be saved. In other words, we would be happy. The source of our salvation is seen to be outside of ourselves. If something outside of ourselves was different, we think we would be happy. We make demands of everyone when we follow the ego's plan for salvation. And we don't want to hear that there is no hope in our plans for happiness. It is not good news to us as long as we identify with the ego. Jesus tells us that all of us who came here, hold some hope of finding happiness in the idols of the world.
 
 It is so easy to get caught in power struggles with those around us and to hold onto grievances and complaints when we feel that others are not acting the way they should. In other words they are not fulfilling the function as we have defined for them and now this is a cause, in our minds, for grievances. The ego tells us we are just innocent victims of those people that betray us and leave us in their mercy. We feel like no one knows or understands us. "The ego's plan for salvation centers around holding grievances." (2.1) The ego's plan for salvation centers around our being angry, hurt, and holding grievances against everyone and everything for not saving us from unhappiness. We tell ourselves that if it wasn't for this person, this situation, this event we would not be experiencing the difficulties we have today. They are responsible in the view of our wrong-minded thinking. They have failed us. And our complaints, manipulations and attacks are all geared to get the changes that we want. We think that if we can show them how they wronged us, they will change their tune and we will be saved. In other words we are projecting our own lack of happiness on others. Projection is, in fact, the human condition. Healing is about withdrawing our projections and taking responsibility for them, seeing them for what they are and thus seeing ourselves as the cause of all of our distress.
 
Jesus tells us often that this world is not our natural environment and we don't fit here nor can we ever find comfort with the ego. "The ego has built a shabby and unsheltering home for you, because it cannot build otherwise." (T.4.I.11.1) "Only God could make a home that is worthy of His creations, who have chosen to leave it empty by their own dispossession." (T.4.I.11.4) When we realize that this is not our home, we give up trying to fit with a world that does not fit who we are. We become motivated to do the work of undoing what the ego has taught. We recognize that true peace and happiness will never be found in the world. It can only be found when we accept that "only God's plan for salvation will work." This is not exactly a thought that we embrace while we still flounder to try to find our happiness in the world. When we are ready to acknowledge that our plans will never bring real happiness, we start to look deeper into our own minds where true happiness lies.
 
This process requires a deep and sincere level of honesty with ourselves to see how we are constantly using others on behalf of our salvation. It is the nature of our special relationships whether of love or of hate where we are actively choosing against our salvation as God has defined it. It is not that He actually has a plan for us, only that we learn that our focus on winning at another's expense opposes our reality as we were created. Thus it opposes God. Some of the strategies we use to try to extract what we want from others can be quite aggressive but others are done in very subtle ways. For example, we might punish someone who has disappointed us by ignoring them; giving them the silent treatment; giving them a look of disapproval; shedding tears so they know how they have hurt us; threatening to leave; withdrawing, pleading, begging, or cajoling; or we may try bargaining buying them something so they will give us what we want in return. Can you see the many, many ways we try to get our needs met? It is essentially the human condition. But Jesus says that "Each grievance you hold is a declaration, and an assertion in which you believe, that says, 'If this were different, I would be saved'. The change of mind necessary for salvation is thus demanded of everyone and everything except yourself." (2-4-5) All of us feel this way. That is why we are here. It is a thought system that has made this world. Our part is now to look at this thought system so we can see clearly how the ego has set it all up. It is set up to defeat our own best interests!
 
The ego tells us to keep seeking outside of ourselves for our happiness but it does not tell us that we will never find it there. When we hold grievances we are saying that we are helpless victims at the mercy of those around us. We really do believe that if these circumstances were changed we would be saved, that it is not up to us and that we are these small, helpless selves, vulnerable, limited beings put here in this cruel world to fend for ourselves.
 
"Like to a dream of punishment, in which the dreamer is unconscious of what brought on the attack against himself, he sees himself attacked unjustly and by something not himself. He is the victim of this 'something else' a thing outside himself, for which he has no reason to be held responsible. He must be innocent because he knows not what he does, but what is done to him. Yet is his own attack upon himself apparent still for it is he who bears the suffering. And he cannot escape because its source is seen outside himself." (T.27.VII.1.3)
 
Jesus is showing us that we can escape the ego's secret wish of maintaining the separation while putting responsibility for it on our brothers. He is showing us how this was all set up and how to escape its grasp. It is up to us to bring awareness to how we are playing the ego's game but we are not alone in this as he is our helper and guide in this unknown territory. We made the choice for the separation and now we can choose to take responsibility for our attack thoughts, judgments and grievances and bring them to the altar in our minds where truth resides. As yesterday's lesson reminds us "my salvation comes from me." I am responsible for my happiness. No one else. I am not the victim of the world I see. There is a way out. How much do we want it?
 
Holding onto grievances and projecting the guilt that is in our own minds onto others is a way that we punish others for what we perceive they have done. We would rather feel rotten and hold onto grievances just as long as we get to be right. And sometimes we even find allies and build alliances to make ourselves even more right. It is the ego at work! We do believe in the ego's plan for our salvation. We believe that if someone out there did it differently, we would feel safe and happy. If circumstances were different, we would be saved. We all came to this world to experience this kind of control and our own independence. We all want to hold onto our way, which explains why there is resistance to choosing God's plan.
 
As long as we look to anything external for our happiness, as long as we continue to feel like victims of the world outside of our own mind, as long as we hold grievances, and as long as we project our own attack thoughts onto others and make them responsible for how we feel, the ego's plan is dominant. And we maintain our faith in its savage control. We continue on this road until the pain and misery of our failed relationships and our never-ending problems motivate us to find another way.
 
"Seek but do not find" remains this world's stern decree, and no one who pursues the world's goal can do otherwise." (M.13.5.8) That is the ego's mantra and that is what we do as long as we still have some hope that the world has something to offer.  We still keep trying to find this elusive happiness in the world. And when our plans don't work, and they never will, we "become depressed or angry." (8.3) Our "insane attempts and mad proposals to free ourselves," (8.4) ultimately bring depression and anger. Haven't we tried our best? Aren't we just innocent victims of circumstances beyond our control? Isn't it important not to have people control us? Am I not justified in holding onto grievances when people are being so unreasonable? Our plans for our happiness have always failed yet we keep hoping that they will work just this once. And with each event, we think this time it will work, already knowing deep down that once again it won't. Even what we extract with our manipulations does not really satisfy; yet we persist.
 
While we justify our anger it is not the route to peace, happiness and real joy. The only way is by letting go of our grievances. The only answer is given us by God. Our own answers are always wrong. Does this threaten us? You bet. It would be the end of the ego if we really stopped listening to its madness. But, in my experience, when I have really been able to release my stubborn resistance and release my demands and expectations and sincerely choose the Holy Spirit's script and not my own, that miracles result. My mind then shifts to a place of quiet, of surrender, of happiness. Anger never feels good. Oh yes, we all know that its expression can have an immediate payoff, but then the guilt arises and we end up paying the price in loss of peace. And our fear increases because we always expect retaliation, whether real or imagined. Thus we are only hurting ourselves when we project guilt on others.
 
"God's plan for salvation works simply because, by following His direction, you seek for salvation where it is. But if you are to succeed, as God promises you will, you must we willing to seek there only." (5.1-2)  If we follow two plans we will be totally confused and miserable and will not achieve either one. And that is what we are doing currently. We are willing to accept that forgiveness brings us happiness because we have experienced that this is so. And we know that taking responsibility for our projections brings healing but we still want to hold onto our special relationships and try to extract from them what we still think will meet our needs. We still try to find some happiness in the things of this world. This brings conflict because we are now holding two conflicting thought systems where we want to forgive and love but we also want to retaliate and to pursue our own goals. We want our specialness, which comes at seeing others different than us. We want to maintain our separation, and we want to enjoy it while making someone else responsible when pain arises. With God's plan for salvation we see our brothers as ourselves. We are the same and this sameness reflects our oneness. In that joining with our brother, the separation is being healed.  
 
The conflict between our two thought systems, that of the ego and that of the Holy Spirit, will be resolved only when we realize that there truly is no other alternative to God's plan for our happiness. We are told that His plan cannot fail. We have seen that our plans always fail to deliver lasting happiness. We need to get very honest with ourselves to truly see that this is so. "Let us rejoice that there is an answer to what seems to be a conflict with no resolution possible." (7.2). It may seem like a demand where we need to give up our way for His. It may seem unjust and restrictive. The ego does not like that! We may feel depressed and angry about giving up our plans for our salvation. But we need to look very honestly at the results of what the ego offers and recognize that deep peace has never been delivered.
 
So today let us tune into God's plan and ask: "What would You have me do? Where would You have me go? What would You have me say, and to whom?" (9.3-5) And if you think you are not hearing a response, then remember that "He will answer in proportion to your willingness to hear His Voice." (9.7) It is just a matter of willingness to silence the voice of the ego that we listen to all the time. In order to hear the guidance of the Holy Spirit we do need to tune into our prompts and our nudges. We need to stop listening to the ego. We may be concerned that we won't succeed in hearing but Jesus reminds us that we have a right to His answer and that we must not refuse to hear. We approach this exercise with as much confidence, openness and willingness as we can.
 
When we listen to the Holy Spirit we get a sense of knowing what is the right thing to do. We receive prompts that guide us in what to do next. If I lay aside my plans for the day and really quiet the mind, I get an answer to questions like these. Remember that the Holy Spirit is in our mind now. We need not find Him. He is our own Voice of truth. When have a sense of peace with regard to our decisions, we can be assured He is guiding us.
 
We need not get attached to the outcomes. Remember this is about giving up control-not controlling what others will do. It is not up to us. We must leave it in God's hands. "Only God's plan for salvation will work." We are doing this course to change our minds, not to get something in form, not to have a prettier illusion, not to manifest what we think will bring us happiness. Our only happiness comes from His plan which is to release our grievances so our light can shine forth. That is what David Hawkins calls true power while our way is to use the force of our own thinking.
 
God's plan for our salvation is actually delivered in the words of this course, which is about forgiveness. It is not that He actually holds any specific plans for us because He already knows that we are safe at home with Him. However, His plan is beautifully laid out here for us, to help us remember who we are.  We never separated from Him because the Atonement Principle assures us that we can't do so. We are only dreaming that we have left our home in God.
 
This course is totally uncompromising. That is what makes this so path so difficult and yet so clear. We want spirituality added to our own goals. But this leads to divided purpose and thus conflict. Until we step over to only one side of this conundrum, we will have a divided purpose and will be continually compromising our goals. Only God's plan will bring the end of misery and he wants us to rejoice that this is the answer for all of our misery. But to say yes to God's plan would mean we would have to say no to the ego's plan and there is still resistance for us in this. But Jesus recognizes that it is all a process of undoing our fear and thus developing trust in him. With motivation to do this practice, we find that Jesus delivers on his word and happiness abounds. It is all a matter of doing what he asks, not because he asks but only on behalf of our peace and happiness.

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