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LESSON 170 JUNE 19 FRIDAY
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Daily Lesson 170
Sarah's Reflections
TEXT CH 15, VIII 65-78
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Course in Miracles Society (CIMS) is an international group of Course students and teachers organized to discover, authenticate and propagate the Divine Teachings of A Course in Miracles.

 

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A COURSE IN MIRACLES
CH 15 "THE PURPOSE OF TIME"
VIII. THE HOLY INSTANT AND COMMUNICATION
 

It is clearly insane to believe that by communicating you will be abandoned. And yet you do believe it. For you think that your minds must be kept private or you will lose them, and if your bodies are together your minds remain your own. The union of bodies thus becomes the way in which you would keep minds apart. For bodies cannot forgive. They can only do as the mind directs.     

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 L e s s o n 170
There is no cruelty in God and none in me.  

 
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   No-one attacks without intent to hurt.

   This can have no exception. When you think

   that you attack in self-defense you mean

   that to be cruel is protection; you

   are safe because of cruelty. You mean

   that you believe to hurt another brings

   you freedom. And you mean that to attack

   is to exchange the state in which you are

   for something better, safer, more secure

   from dangerous invasion and from fear.

 

   How thoroughly insane is the idea

   that to defend from fear is to attack!

   For here is fear begot and fed with blood

   to make it grow and swell and rage. And thus

   is fear protected, not escaped. Today

   we learn a lesson which can save you more

   delay and needless misery than you

   can possibly imagine. It is this:

   

   You make what you defend against, and by

    your own defense against it is it real

    and inescapable. Lay down your arms,

    and only then will you perceive it false.

 

   It seems to be the enemy without

   whom you attack. Yet your defense sets up

   an enemy within; an alien thought

   at war with you, depriving you of peace,

   splitting your mind into two camps which seem

   wholly irreconcilable. For love

   now has an enemy, an opposite,

   and fear, the alien, now needs your defense

   against the threat of what you really are.

 

   If you consider carefully the means

   by which your fancied self-defense proceeds

   on its imagined way, you will perceive

   the premises on which the idea stands.

   First it is obvious ideas must leave

   their source. For it is you who make attack,

   and must have first conceived of it. Yet you

   attack outside yourself, and separate

   your mind from him who is to be attacked,

   with perfect faith the split you made is real.

 

   Next are the attributes of love bestowed

   upon its enemy. For fear becomes

   your safety and protector of your peace,

   to which you turn for solace and escape

   from doubts about your strength, and hope of rest

   in dreamless quiet. And as love is shorn

   of what belongs to it and it alone,

   it is endowed with attributes of fear.

   For love would ask you lay down all defense

   as merely foolish. And your arms indeed

   would crumble into dust. For such they are.

 

   With love as enemy must cruelty

   become a god, and gods demand that those

   who worship them obey their dictates and

   refuse to question them. Harsh punishment

   is meted out relentlessly to those

   who ask if their demands are sensible

   or even sane. It is their enemies

   who are unreasonable and insane,

   while they are always merciful and just.

 

   Today we look upon this cruel god

   dispassionately. And we note that though

   his lips are smeared with blood and fire seems

   to flame from him, he is but made of stone.

   He can do nothing. We need not defy

   his power. He has none. And those who see

   in him their safety have no guardian,

   no strength to call upon in danger, and

   no mighty warrior to fight for them.

 

   This moment can be terrible. But it

   can also be the time of your release

   from abject slavery. You make a choice,

   standing before this idol, seeing him

   exactly as he is. Will you restore

   to love what you have sought to wrest from it

   to lay before this mindless piece of stone?

   Or will you make another idol to

   replace it? For the god of cruelty

   takes many forms. Another can be found.

 

   Yet do not think that fear is the escape

   from fear. Let us remember what the course

   has stressed about the obstacles to peace.

   The final one, the hardest to believe

   is nothing, and a seeming obstacle

   with the appearance of a solid block,

   impenetrable, fearful and beyond

   surmounting, is the fear of God Himself.

   Here is the basic premise which enthrones

   the thought of fear as god. For fear is loved

   by those who worship it, and love appears

   to be invested now in cruelty.

 

   Where does the totally insane belief

   in gods of vengeance come from? Love has not

   confused its attributes with those of fear.

   Yet must the worshippers of fear perceive

   their own confusion in fear's enemy;

   its cruelty as now a part of love.

   And what becomes more fearful than the heart

   of Love Itself? The blood appears to be

   upon His lips, the fire comes from Him.

   And He is terrible above all else,

   cruel beyond conception, striking down

   all who acknowledge Him to be their God.

 

   The choice you make today is certain. For

   you look for the last time upon this bit

   of carven stone you made, and call it god

   no longer. You have reached this place before,

   but you have chosen that this cruel god

   remain with you in still another form,

   and so the fear of God returned with you.

   This time you leave it here. And you return

   to a new world unburdened by its weight,

   beheld not in its sightless eyes but in

   the vision that your choice restored to you.

 

   Now do your eyes belong to Christ, and He

   looks through them. Now your voice belongs to God,

   and echoes His. And now your heart remains

   at peace forever. You have chosen Him

   in place of idols, and your attributes,

   given by your Creator, are restored

   to you at last. The Call of God is heard

   and answered. Now has fear made way for love,

   as God Himself replaces cruelty.

 

   " Father, we are like You. No cruelty

     abides in us, for there is none in You.

    Your peace is ours. And we bless the world

    with what we have received from You alone.

    We choose again, and make our choice for all

    our brothers, knowing they are one with us.

    We bring them Your salvation as we have

    received it now. And we give thanks for them

    who render us complete. In them we see

    Your glory, and in them we find our peace.

    Holy are we, because Your Holiness

    has set us free. And we give thanks.

                                                         Amen."

 

     ~ Original Handscript of ACIM  

 

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LESSON 170
There is no cruelty in God and none in me.
       
Sarah's Commentary:

Putting this Lesson in context is helpful. We can see how the ego set up its system of defense to keep us from changing our minds about the original decision to choose separation. I rely heavily here on Ken Wapnick's description of this process, which really clarified for me how the ego set all of this up.

The choice that was made for the ego was a decision to run away from God. We believe we stole our individuality and unique self from God. This required we annihilate Him in order to become independent of Him and authors of our own lives. Thus, we think we have made ourselves.

The ego has convinced us we have sinned, we are guilty, and we must now fear God, Who is out to get us for what we have done. None of this is conscious, but it is what we unconsciously defend against. This defense is what constitutes the making of the body and the world as a way to hide from God's punishment that we now think is coming to us. God is seen as cruel and out to get us. Our thinking is that we need to stay away from Him and keep choosing our bodily identity and this world as our protection from His wrath. The way the Bible portrays God is part of this projection. Our attack on God is now part of this thought system we hold in our own minds. This is the thought system of attack we now see in the world, but the attack we think we are seeing in the world is actually just our own attack thoughts projected onto the world. These attack thoughts originate in our own minds, but now seem to be coming at us from others.

Clearly, we don't want to see ourselves as the attackers and have become convinced that we attack only in self-defense. We see others as attacking us first, and we  tell ourselves we had no choice but to defend ourselves. This is how we protect our image as an innocent bystander who would never initiate attack, but it is a myth. Ideas do not leave their source and the source of every attack always starts in our minds. Jesus is exposing this whole thought system to us, so the ego can be exposed for what it is. Otherwise, we would not see the origins of our choice for attack and all its consequences. We would stay caught in this myth of our false innocence, never seeing the source of the problem and therefore never addressing it. The ego has us focus on addressing the problems in the world, where they will never be solved. Yet the answer is in our own thoughts. When this setup by the ego is exposed, we can take responsibility for our attacks and choose to accept the Atonement instead.

When we chose to identify with the body and the ego, we chose self-interest as our primary goal. Meeting our needs at the expense of others underlies all of our actions. However, we want to appear like the well-intentioned good guy doing the best we can in an ill-intentioned world. While acting in a civilized way, we ultimately want our way, which means winning at someone else's expense. Our real motives are kept hidden even from ourselves. They are well defended and reflected in the image we hide behind, which Jesus calls our face of innocence.

Jesus is showing us that with each attack we make, we are reinforcing fear. Why? Because when we attack, we fear retaliation. While we see the purpose of attack as a way to defend and protect ourselves and to get what we want, in reality all we do with this strategy is keep the fear firmly ensconced in our minds. While we tell ourselves we are using the strategy of attack to keep ourselves safe from fear, it is how we keep the fear rather than escape from it.

We maintain our image of being good in an attacking world by holding the myth of this "face of innocence." We protect our image by holding beliefs like, "I didn't mean to hurt," "I would never attack if they had not done that to me," "If I did not defend myself, I would be taken advantage of." Jesus says this is all just a cover-up. When we attack, he says, we mean to hurt, and there are no exceptions to this. " No one attacks without intent to hurt." (W.170.1.1) Even in self-defense, where we think we are trying to make ourselves safe, we are basically saying our safety comes with cruelty. We think we can free ourselves, get our needs met and gratify our desires through attack. Jesus is exposing this "face of innocence". We can see how it has all been set up and what we can do to change it. The belief we hold that we had no choice but to attack is seen as a ruse for our desire to attack. We think if we don't defend, which is the same as attack, then we would garner more attack from others, but in perfect oneness there can be no attack. Attack and defense are all about placing our needs above those of others and trying to justify that we had no choice but to do what we did. There is no way to paint this as a pretty picture. It is the cornerstone of the whole ego thought system, all of which started with the belief attack gets us something we want. It is the thought system that originated in our belief we won the battle with God, gaining our independence at His expense.
 
This Lesson reminds me of Lesson 160, " I am at home. Fear is the stranger here." In both Lessons, it is clear we are asked to remember who we are as a reflection of God, which is love. What we have made of ourselves is who we have come to believe we are, but it is not the truth. Our true Self is not fearful, nor is it cruel. We have been created in the image of God, which is pure love. As long as we think of ourselves as bodies and egos, we live in a state of fear and a believe that we need to defend ourselves from all of the evils of the world. Defense thus becomes our way of trying to stay safe, yet we can never find our own freedom by hurting another.

We attack because of fear. If we felt perfectly safe, not lacking anything, we would not attack. We somehow have taught ourselves that to hurt someone else will free us and protect us. We justify the need to do this because of what we perceive has been done to us, and we retaliate in many ways including through anger, withdrawal, irritation, resistance, suspicion, provocation, demands, impulsiveness, jealousy, manipulation, whining and any number of strategies we believe will get what we want. "For the god of cruelty takes many forms." (W.170.8.6)
 
What is helpful is to consider our own preferred ways for attacking and defending ourselves. It is helpful to look at how this plays out in our lives. We can bring this thought system to awareness and make another choice. When we are willing to see that we are all the same and share the same thought system of the ego and the Holy Spirit, we will see everything expressed in this world as either love or a call for love. It may come in some rather grotesque forms, yet Jesus reminds us that love is the only natural response, regardless of the form. This is obviously quite a challenge for us, which is why it cannot be done by us alone. We need the Holy Spirit. Our mistaken perceptions must be brought to light, where they are shifted through the miracle.

My initial reaction to this Lesson was quite clearly, "I'm not cruel," but when I was willing to take a closer look behind my image of goodness and benign kindness, past my defenses, I could see there are many ways I use to hurt those around me. And they are all, in fact, forms of cruelty. The dictionary defines cruel as liking to inflict pain and suffering. The course is uncompromising in calling our hatred what it is and not covering it up with niceties. It describes irritation as akin to murder, which may seem far-fetched to us, yet because it is all attack, it is the same thing.

Whatever the form of the attack, and however we might justify that it was deserving, Jesus tells us we could never be free ourselves, if we hurt anyone else. This is because we are only hurting ourselves when we hurt others. Mind is cause, and the world is the effect. Everything must be brought back to the mind. If we knew we were really only hurting ourselves when we attack, we wouldn't do it. We ultimately can't have our own freedom when we hurt another. All any form of attack does is to further reinforce our own fear. If we felt perfectly safe, we would not attack. We justify our attacks, seeing those outside of us as " unreasonable and insane" (W.170.6.4) while we are always " merciful and just." (W.170.6.4) We think there is power in attack, but if we look at it dispassionately, we find this "cruel god" is nothing and is in fact actually powerless.
 
In fact, " ideas leave not their source," (W.156.1.3) means attack cannot come from anything outside of us. I know that is a hard thing to accept, because we do see attack coming at us from outside and independent of our own thoughts. The ego has set it up that way. The world seems to be the cause and the mind the effect. Yet the truth is everything starts in our own minds. The world is just a reflection of our minds. While that may seem disconcerting it is also empowering because it means all change starts in our own minds. It is the only place where change can be made.
 
As long as we are in the process of learning to undo our fear, we will manifest opportunities in the world to learn this. We will have people in our lives to teach us about this, and instead of attacking them and seeing them as enemies, we can learn to use these situations, people and events as opportunities to forgive. The immediate concern is we will then become "doormats" for abuse. The god of cruelty in our minds tells us we must be foolish and naive to refrain from attacking in self-defense. It is this cruel god who mocks us for being some kind of spiritual hero. There is no question we can and must take action in the world and deal with people and situations that require us to do what is necessary, but we can still do what is necessary while focusing our attention on our purpose, which is to heal our minds of attack thoughts through forgiveness. The world thus becomes a valuable backdrop for this purpose.

Our only real safety and protection is love. There are many beautiful examples of love as protection in autobiographies I have read, including the story of Peace Pilgrim, who responded to attacks with love, and in doing so, she experienced great protection. She tells of one incident where she was picked up by someone whose intentions were to rape her. Yet when he saw how she felt totally safe in his presence, curled up and asleep next to him in the car, totally trusting, he confessed later that her trust in him made it impossible for him to do anything to hurt her. Until we have had an experience of this kind of innocent perception, we have a hard time believing in its power. That is why this Lesson says, " This moment can be terrible. But it can also be the time of your release from abject slavery." (W.170.8.1-2) To think about giving up those things we think have protected us can be a terrifying moment. It is a moment when we choose love instead of attack. We are told in this Lesson that we need to realize love is our only real protection. It has all of the power we have given to fear.
 
This moment he talks about is when there is a realization that the enemy is not outside of you but inside. We must " look upon this cruel god dispassionately." (W.170.7.1) Looking at the ego is what forgiveness is all about. Looking dispassionately means looking without emotion and without guilt. In fact, it is to smile at the silliness of the ego, which has no power. It is indeed a cruel god, keeping us in bondage only as long as we still believe in it. When we see it for what it is, we truly can laugh at it.
 
We have invested much in our defenses, and we will continue to do this as long as we believe they protect us. To really believe we can throw away our sword and shield, which is what love tells us to do, sounds dangerous. It now seems that my vulnerability is not my safety, but my weakness. It is not something we will do readily, but as we learn to release ourselves from the bondage of our egos, we will see more and more that attack is only hurting ourselves. When Jesus says , "the attributes of love are bestowed upon its 'enemy'," (W.170.5.1) he is saying that we turn to our specialness for our safety instead of relying on our protection in God. It is love that is actually our only sure safety and protection, but we are giving the attributes of love to fear, thinking it is fear that will protect us.
 
We can never find solace in the ego. It is not our friend. It wants us dead while it wants to maintain its own 'life.' When we are upset, we turn to the ego for comfort and it is happy to offer us no end of distractions. Whether that be food, television, sex, shopping, special love, or fantasies, it is all the same and all intended to keep us rooted in the illusion. While love is our true solace, it is now endowed with the attributes of fear.

Love feels like fear, because it is asking us to lay down our defenses, and now we feel weak and defenseless. Why does Jesus say cruelty then becomes our god? Because we think our protection and safety lie in attack and cruelty, and since we see it as a god, we don't question it. We simply follow its dictates. We need to be attentive to which voice  we are listening to when we believe in our vulnerability. When we tell ourselves not to get too close to someone, as we may get hurt, it is a form of protection. When we punish others for hurting us, we are keeping ourselves separate. When we justify our demands of others, we are listening to the voice of the ego.

Today, let's look at our belief that fear can protect us and question this belief. The truth is that we are invulnerable and can't be hurt, that we are as God created us, that there is no death, that we are not a body, that we are free, and that we are eternal beings. That is the foundation for letting go of our attacks and increasingly coming to accept " There is no cruelty in God and none in me." (W.170) To come to this realization requires watching our minds and bringing our fear thoughts and thoughts of attack to the Holy Spirit, rather than defending them, covering them over and pretending they are not there. And We must not crucify ourselves for holding these thoughts. Healing comes when we are willing to look at these thoughts without judgment. The Holy Spirit can then bring the miracle.
 
When we perceive ourselves as cruel and others as cruel, we  are saying that God is cruel. Ideas leave not their source, and we are still in the mind of God. This is what Jesus reminds us of in the final prayer. " Father, we are like You. No cruelty abides in us, for there is none in You. Your peace is ours. And we bless the world with what we have received from You alone." (W.170.13.1-4)
 
Jesus reminds us that we can choose again, and when we do, we make this choice for all of our brothers because they are one with us. Today is a day of gratitude for our brothers, for it is in them we find our completion. Our closeness to God is our closeness to our brothers. It is here our healing will take place as we see our own attacks in them and bring them back to our own minds. Thus, we can see our brothers' innocence and know our own.

Love and blessings, Sarah

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A Course in Miracles 

 

Chapter Fifteen

VIII. The Holy Instant and Communication  

65 Beyond the poor attraction of the special love relationship and always obscured by it is the powerful attraction of the Father for His Son. There is no other love that can satisfy you, because there is no other love. This is the only love that is fully given and fully returned. Being complete, it asks nothing. Being wholly pure, everyone joined in it has everything. This is not the basis for any relationship in which the ego enters. For every relationship on which the ego embarks is special. The ego establishes relationships only to get something. And it would keep the giver bound to itself through guilt.

 

66 It is impossible for the ego to enter into any relationship without anger, for the ego believes that anger makes friends. This is not its statement, but it is its purpose. For the ego really believes that it can get and keep by making guilty. This is its one attraction; an attraction so weak that it would have no hold at all, except that no one recognizes it. For the ego always seems to attract through love and has no attraction at all to anyone who perceives that it attracts through guilt.

 

67 The sick attraction of guilt must be recognized for what it is. For having been made real to you, it is essential to look at it clearly, and by withdrawing your investment in it, to learn to let it go. No one would choose to let go what he believes has value. Yet the attraction of guilt has value to you only because you have not looked at what it is and have judged it completely in the dark. As we bring it to light, your only question will be why it was you ever wanted it. You have nothing to lose by looking open-eyed at this, for ugliness such as this belongs not in your holy mind. The host of God can have no real investment here.

 

68 We said before that the ego attempts to maintain and increase guilt, but in such a way that you do not recognize what it would do to you. For it is the ego's fundamental doctrine that what you do to others, you have escaped. The ego wishes no one well. Yet its survival depends on your belief that you are exempt from its evil intentions. It counsels, therefore, that if you are host to it, it will enable you to direct the anger that it holds outward, thus protecting you. And thus it embarks on an endless, unrewarding chain of special relationships, forged out of anger and dedicated to but one insane belief-that the more anger you invest outside yourself, the safer you become.

 

69 It is this chain that binds the Son of God to guilt, and it is this chain the Holy Spirit would remove from his holy mind. For the chain of savagery belongs not around the chosen host of God, who cannot make himself host to the ego. In the name of his release, and in the name of Him Who would release him, let us look more closely at the relationships which the ego contrives, and let the Holy Spirit judge them truly. For it is certain that, if you will look at them, you will offer them gladly to Him. What He can make of them, you do not know, but you will become willing to find out if you are willing, first, to perceive what you have made of them.

 

70 In one way or another, every relationship which the ego makes is based on the idea that by sacrificing itself, it becomes bigger. The "sacrifice," which it regards as purification, is actually the root of its bitter resentment. For it would much prefer to attack directly and avoid delaying what it really wants. Yet the ego acknowledges "reality" as it sees it and recognizes that no one could interpret direct attack as love. Yet to make guilty is direct attack but does not seem to be. For the guilty expect attack, and having asked for it, they are attracted to it.

 

71 In these insane relationships, the attraction of what you do not want seems to be much stronger than the attraction of what you do. For each one thinks that he has sacrificed something to the other and hates him for it. Yet this is what he thinks he wants. He is not in love with the other at all. He merely believes he is in love with sacrifice. And for this sacrifice, which he demanded of himself, he demands the other accept the guilt and sacrifice himself as well. Forgiveness becomes impossible, for the ego believes that to forgive another is to lose him. For it is only by attack without forgiveness that the ego can ensure the guilt which holds all its relationships together.

 

72 Yet they only seem to be together. For relationships, to the ego, mean only that bodies are together. It is always physical closeness that the ego demands, and it does not object where the mind goes or what it thinks, for this seems unimportant. As long as the body is there to receive its sacrifice, it is content. To the ego, the mind is private, and only the body can be shared. Ideas are basically of no concern, except as they draw the body of another closer or farther. And it is in these terms that it evaluates ideas as good or bad. What makes another guilty and holds him through guilt is "good." What releases him from guilt is "bad," because he would no longer believe that bodies communicate, and so he would be "gone."

 

73 Suffering and sacrifice are the gifts with which the ego would "bless" all unions. And those who are united at its altar accept suffering and sacrifice as the price of union. In their angry alliances, born of the fear of loneliness and yet dedicated to the continuance of loneliness, they seek relief from guilt by increasing it in the other. For they believe that this decreases it in them. The other seems always to be attacking and wounding them, perhaps in little ways, perhaps "unconsciously," yet never without demand of sacrifice. The fury of those joined at the ego's altar far exceeds your awareness of it. For what the ego really wants, you do not realize.

 

74 Whenever you are angry, you can be sure that you have formed a special relationship which the ego has "blessed," for anger is its blessing. Anger takes many forms, but it cannot long deceive those who will learn that love brings no guilt at all, and what brings guilt cannot be love and must be anger. All anger is nothing more than an attempt to make someone feel guilty, and this attempt is the only basis which the ego accepts for special relationships. Guilt is the only need the ego has, and as long as you identify with it, guilt will remain attractive to you.

 

75 Yet remember this-to be with a body is not communication. And if you think it is, you will feel guilty about communication and will be afraid to hear the Holy Spirit, recognizing in His voice your own need to communicate. The Holy Spirit cannot teach through fear. And how can He communicate with you while you believe that to communicate is to make yourself alone? It is clearly insane to believe that by communicating you will be abandoned. And yet you do believe it. For you think that your minds must be kept private or you will lose them, and if your bodies are together your minds remain your own. The union of bodies thus becomes the way in which you would keep minds apart. For bodies cannot forgive. They can only do as the mind directs.

 

76 The illusion of the autonomy of the body and its ability to overcome loneliness is but the working of the ego's plan to establish its own autonomy. As long as you believe that to be with a body is companionship, you will be compelled to attempt to keep your brother in his body, held there by guilt. And you will see safety in guilt and danger in communication. For the ego will always teach that loneliness is solved by guilt and that communication is the cause of loneliness. And despite the evident insanity of this lesson, you have learned it.

 

77 Forgiveness lies in communication as surely as damnation lies in guilt. It is the Holy Spirit's teaching function to instruct those who believe that communication is damnation that communication is salvation. And He will do so, for the power of God in Him and you is joined in real relationship, so holy and so strong that it can overcome even this without fear. It is through the holy instant that what seems impossible is accomplished, making it evident that it is not impossible. In the holy instant, guilt holds no attraction, since communication has been restored. And guilt, whose only purpose is to disrupt communication, has no function here.

 

78 Here there is no concealment and no private thoughts. The willingness to communicate attracts communication to it and overcomes loneliness completely. There is complete forgiveness here, for there is no desire to exclude anyone from your completion in sudden recognition of the value of his part in it. In the protection of your wholeness, all are invited and made welcome. And you understand that your completion is God's, Whose only need is to have you be complete. For your completion makes you His in your awareness. And here it is that you experience yourself as you were created and as you are.

 

ACIM OE TX. CH 15, VIII     

 


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To GIVE and to RECEIVE are One in Truth.  Lesson 108

  

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