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Living Differently is a newsletter of tips, ideas and information about grief, life and living after grief.
Grieving, like living, involves all areas of life; emotional, cognitive, physical, spiritual, social, relational, nature and universal. We delve into all these areas plus offer messages from the other side to help you in your journey.
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With much gratitude,
Chris
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Note From Chris
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Spring All Around Us...
This month I could finally hang my favorite tulip house flag (above picture) because many yards around my town are bursting with their tulip's colors and blooming their little hearts out.
Spring is here (on the calendar and at least in my state) and new life is erupting all around; birds are building their nests, buds are bursting into blooms and new life is erupting all around us.
Spring's energy is vibrant, demonstrates vitality, renewal and rebirth. It shouts of possibilities, growth and newness.
Can you see renewal in your life? Can you cultivate growth? Can you allow acceptance to flower in your life? (I certainly understand if you can't right now; my first Spring of 2001 blurred right into my first Summer due to the very early months of grief focusing on my inner environment)
But, this month we
are
facing blossoms, beauty and being...where do these fit into your life right now....?
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Living Differently Tip
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Living Differently Tip:
The following is from my ongoing messages/lessons/guidance shared by and received from the non-physical perspective ...my Guides, aka. Maxx
This message holds a mini-lesson for all of us...
(usually I hear a phrase, a subject or they make a comment and then they explain their lesson...)
Walking in and Through Grief
I asked if they could offer some words of wisdom for the newsletter about Spring: 1. since it is Spring and Spring is blooming and 2. what are grievers doing at this time of year and they said, "that is the question that we have too..."
Spring is blooming, the world is opening up, new life begins and a new chapter opens for our environment but what happens to your internal environment? Are you opening yours? Are you inviting it? Are you blanketing it? Or are you opening a door to a possibility? All of those choices are there; all of those opportunities are available. It is you that needs to look at you to determine your Spring. Is your Spring there for you to notice or will you move as though it is not occurring? Of course it is occurring all around you. It is whether you will notice it. Will you be aware to notice it or not? It is your life. We hope and we try to help you if you are open to receiving information that might help you. You are not alone in this season or any other. We will help you when and if we can and that question is up to you. We want to, we are willing and we will open doors for you but we cannot make that choice for you. That is your step if you are going to walk through Spring or any other season. That will be determined by your choice and that will determine your direction whether you move through spring, avoid it or move a curtain around it so that you are unable to acknowledge it. We want you to see the beauty around you and in you. We are there to help see both if you will allow that. You're surrounded by beauty, by love, by light and by many helping energies. Avail yourself if you can in order to step through your Spring.
**********
Zac Comment:
Zac was explaining to me how they
can be and
are with us often and
how they help us get through our difficult situations.
He said,
"kinda like when you were in church and you felt my hands on your shoulders. The strength comes through the energy. Because of the love, we want to give you that energy to get through, so that you can live your life. When you drain your energy through grieving, you need to be recharged. That is why we hang around. We're your rechargers! You must be aware of it. Use us. We're here."
*********
Your spirit helpers are with you all the time, they want to help you and they have a way of letting you know in a way you will understand...
Your
job is to learn to trust them! You can have the comfort of your spirit guides and loved ones to ease the burdens of your physical life. I encourage you to embrace your connections.
Do you have questions? Please let me know..
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Walking Through Life and Spring After Loss
In The Beginning
The question most grievers ask
: How
am I going to get through this?
Yes, we ask this in the beginning but the question is usually asked after moving past all of the
why
questions. You know, when you recognize the futility of the why questions; asking the universe, God or whatever higher source beyond yourself for an explanation to your query:
- why did this (accident, overdose, suicide, medical issue, homicide, etc) happen?
- why did they have to die now?
- why did this death have to happen to my loved one?
- why did this loss happened to me?
- why couldn't this situation have been different?
- why didn't I, couldn't I have changed the circumstances?
- why could I have not spared him/her the pain?
These unanswerable questions are not only
not
helpful to your grief process but they enable you to remain in the stability of uncomfortableness and pain in which you live after grief. Also called "stuckness," you cannot move when you repeatedly ask unanswerable questions that cannot be truly understood until your transition to the other side.
Grievers feel hopeless, helpless and devastated. With
conflicting and confusing feelings and thoughts coupled with the
pain of loss and
living with the unanswerable questions
, it a very confusing and crazy-making situation. Grievers need
something
to provide some control in their lives.
Perhaps the next level of asked questions might offer hope in allowing for some movement in your grief process.
What Happens Next?
After repeatedly asking yourself the why questions of circumstance, feeling hopeless, helpless and the myriad of competing feelings in your grief, you just might discover that you are in a position of repeatedly asking questions that no one, including yourself can possibly answer.
So, where does this leave you in your grieving process? When you are
aware,
you recognize that 1. you are stuck and 2. you are at a crossroads where you need to determine what is
best for
you.
You can then choose to remain in that position of unknowing; the current place of painful stuckness or you can acknowledge
you in your process.
This second choice may be more difficult as it takes much more awareness on your part; it takes strength, it takes faith and it takes trust to move into the unknown.
Taking path two is where you take a leap of faith that, although you have no idea what is ahead and you have no experience to back up your decision (or your judgment or discernment) you move in this direction because the uncomfortable moments outweigh the comfortableness of the pain and ever-present stuckness.
Making a choice between paths does not constitute ease or difficulty of the progressing journey. The individual chooses their next steps which will determine how their journey will unfold.
Making this choice and taking this leap of faith, is not necessarily an end point for pain. Pain will continue because of the loss of your physical relationship. Emotions will continue to arise, triggers will continue to annoy and surprise you, anniversaries will continue to come and go on the calendar and platitudes will continue to irritate you.
All of your emotions will continue to reside within you and be expressed because you are human.
Making the decision to determine what is best for you does not eliminate or minimize your grief journey. It is through the expression and experience of your emotions that will propel you through your journey.
There is no promise that making a decision for you to move you through your grief will enable you to stoically move on in life differently. This
begins
the process of making daily decisions differently that will build on re-creation of a new you as you continue living through your daily decisions.
Your Internal Environment
Walking through one day to the next, one month to the next, one season to the next, one year to the next is not a matter of viewing each of these in overall terms of easiness or difficulty when you base your progress on your daily decisions.
There are many things you can do to enhance your ability to make your best daily decisions. Some might include seeking support, therapy, journaling, meditation, physical activities, hobbies,religion or spirituality and incorporating nature into your life. Factors that might complicate or possibly cause setbacks or waylay the progression of your journey might include self-sabotage, lack of self care, self judgment, depression, physical or mental illness or isolation.
Be Aware, Be You
It is said that awareness is not only the first step of recognizing your soul but it is also a first step in recognizing YOU and your beingness in your journey. If you are aware of you (
what you receive, what you see, what you feel, what you think and what you do
) then you will be aware of the decisions you are making and your awareness will offer you guidance to move you in your grief journey.
Like our life journey, our grief journey is a progression of phases.
Reviewing your life, you see your life experiences build upon one another to create the YOU who has come to that moment when you are faced with life changing situations. Until that time, you learned and used coping techniques.
This may be a more difficult situation than you have ever experienced before but the core of you is who is going to continue making this journey. You will build on that core of you with new information, with new wisdom and with new learning. This will help you move through your journey one day, one week, one month, one season, one year at a time.
I encourage you to open your awareness of YOU, to place importance upon you and to recognize that you are the core of this process and those decisions that you make will determine your journey.
You may be able to see a different walk in this season and perhaps in the next and hopefully you will notice the beauty, the love and the light that surrounds you...... and recognize the new being that
you are without your loved one in the physical.
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What Is YOUR Universe Telling You?
I had my first essential oils foot treatment recently and it opened my world. (it was
offered by the make-up artist who did my website video make-up; I did not
make an appointment- which was a synchronicity I did not recognize!) It was an incredible experience not only for the relaxation but it was a message from my universe and a reminder for me to
notice it.
Gee, how could I have missed the multiple (at least 7!) references to feet in the last couple weeks. It was like my Guides were giving me clues with the signs, symbols and synchronicities but again, I almost needed a 2 by 4 to the head to recognize them. (Duh, my Guides were giving me clear messages for the topic for this month's newsletter!) (You can read my whole blog post about this experience
here...
)
How often do you listen to YOUR universe? Do you
listen to your signs, symbols and synchronicities from your guidance?
Your Higher Self (
Self not ego self) is always talking to you, guiding you to learn, to grow and to progress in this physical life. Signs, symbols and synchronicities are the language they speak to you. Are you listening? Are you noticing?
I hope you learn to recognize and then trust your Higher Self...
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What are you thankful for?
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Barefoot Walking
So many people have foot pain; burning, tingling, numbing pain in their feet and legs.
Why?
Foot pain is caused when we lose flexibility and mobility in the joints of our feet. And the most basic mobility and flexibility we lose
is in our feet. This lack of mobility causes us to walk slower (as we age) and causes pain
all over our bodies because all of our muscles are connected to one another.
How do we lose this flexibility?
By not moving the joints and muscles because we always have our feet protected by shoes.
Pain is a warning but often we don't know how to listen to it. We listen when our tummy warns us of hunger but often do not listen when our body warns of pain.
Listen to your feet!
Let them breathe.
Liberate them.
Walk barefoot. (or stocking feet)
Wishing you peaceful walking this month...
********
I'd love for you to check it out, see what you think and "Like" it...
********
and a final monthly thought...
I think I need a pedicure...
If you have questions, comments or subjects you'd like addressed in this newsletter, please let us know...
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Please visit my blog here. I'd love to hear your comments or questions or have you share your experiences of your continued relationship with your loved one.
For a whole lot of years now we have been sharing information about signs, celebrating your child's birthday, dreams, pet loss, parental loss, ADCs, continuing relationships, conversations with the other side, holiday grief, bereaved parents' grief and a whole lot more!
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Chris Mulligan is an intuitive grief guide, teacher and author of Afterlife Agreements: A Gift From Beyond who is passionate about inspiring and guiding others to choose to live differently after grief, to change their pain to hope and their suffering to living on. Her passion is fueled by her own transformation when her youngest son, Zac died in 2000 and she found herself enduring a shattered world she did not expect to inhabit. Receiving guidance through signs and communication from her son and other spirits, her life path shifted from living in grief to living on. She discovered her truth when she chose to open her heart and live life differently. From that place, she fearlessly created an abundant life full of gifts, gratitude and grace. A MS in Clinical Child, Youth, and Family Work, 25 years of Adoption Social Work, hospice volunteering, facilitating grief support groups and being her parents' end of life and transitional caregiver have taught her about pain and peace. She frequently speaks on panels and workshops for the bereaved and those working with the bereaved. She loves spending time with her husband and family of two dogs, Nina and Sam, four children and four grandchildren. She has been receiving images and messages from those on the other side for over 15 years and is currently writing a book incorporating their teachings. Go to http://www.Afterlifebooks.com to learn more.
With much gratitude, Chris |
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