I love it when someone shares something that seems so practical, but in a way that I haven't thought of before.  I also love it when people use object lessons that help me remember the point of what they were saying.

You may have heard this one before, but for me it was something new.  A co-worker recently shared such an object lesson and I thought I would pass it along, as it was simple, yet profound.  This lesson was about Q-tips.  You know, the plastic little straws with the cotton fuzz on the end that most people use for either cleaning out their ears or application of cosmetics and first aid.

Quit Taking It Personally

Wow, what a good thought.  Too many of us get wrapped up in what someone else has done to us, that we don't see what they have done for us.  We get bent out of shape to the point that it shows on our face and maybe even a little steam begins to trickle out of our ears.

Taking things personally is sometimes a result of how dependent we have become on others for things such as our happiness, our security, our finances, and sometimes even our safety.  So, when these people whom we have become so attached to come across as critical or judgmental, we find ourselves in a quandary with being caught between needing these people in our lives and the desire to become independent.

Interestingly enough, when we take things personally, we are giving the other person involved the power over us even though they don't deserve that power.  Essentially, taking things personally keeps you tied up and feeling like a victim when the true facts may show otherwise.

So, do you want to stop taking things so personally when confronted with someone else's suggestions or viewpoint?  If so, here are a few questions I have learned to ask myself over the years.

Who am I investing in?

I don't always have to agree with everyone around me.  In fact, to have different perspectives and viewpoints is good and healthy as long as we are looking at the situation from the same ground.  Nobody has to be "right" in the situation and I don't have to survive on the other person's approval.  I can invest in the other person's future by being supportive and understanding regardless of my opinions.

What would the other person do if they were in my shoes?

Sometimes, if I take the time to look at things from the other person's perspective I can change my own.  I should seek to summarize what they are saying to me in an effort to make sure I have accurately portrayed their stance or emotions.  I don't have to place the blame on anyone if I am simply seeking to make the situation better, grow personally, help them improve in a certain area, and want to help my school become the best it can be.

Is it really about me?

When I jump to conclusions too quickly when being confronted I make assumptions.  Not only is making assumptions a dangerous thing, but usually they are incorrect.  I need to be aware of areas in my life that are triggers for me emotionally and learn to take some time to step back from the situation to allow myself time to either mellow or think about my response.

So, next time you find yourself in a situation where you are apt to take things personally, remember to pull out a Q-tip!