Dear Friends:
While researching this week's D'var Torah I came across a commentary that I found somewhat disturbing.
After Moses left Egypt his father-in-law, Yitro, came to see him:
Jethro, Moses' father-in-law, brought Moses' sons and wife to him in the wilderness, where he was encamped at the mountain of God. He sent word to Moses, "I, your father-in-law Jethro, am coming to you, with your wife and her two sons." Moses went out to meet his father-in-law; he bowed low and kissed him; each asked after the other's welfare, and they went into the tent. (Ex 18:5-7)
The commentator Etz Hada'at Tov writes: "Yitro did not want to bother Moses and did not visit until Moses was encamped. Moses honored him by going out to greet him, but not to greet his wife or children. He kissed Yitro but not his wife or children. He asked Yitro about his welfare, but did not ask his wife and children. He and Yitro went into the tent, but Moses' wife and children went into a different tent. Why did Moses pay Yitro such high honor? In order to bring him under the wings of the Shechina (to help convince him to convert).
Yitro was the Priest of Midian whose daughter Moses married. According to the rabbis, Yitro became so enamored of Israelite religion that he decided to convert. Our tradition praises Moses for encouraging and enabling Yitro's conversion.
While I have no quarrel with Etz Hada'at Tov lauding Moses for honoring Yitro, I am troubled that in the same commentary he saw it necessary to denigrate Moses' wife and sons. He could have simply written that Moses honored Yitro without adding the seemingly positive comments about him ignoring his family. By emphasizing their exclusion he seems to imply that it was a good thing.
I would hope that this type of behavior would not be thought of so positively today. Countless sermons and newspaper articles have been written about the negative effects that men and women who prioritize their jobs, hobbies, etc., over their families have on those they love. Yet, it still happens.
Although I find much wisdom in our tradition, its interpreters don't always hit the mark. This is one such case. I don't understand why Moses could not be seen as welcoming and embracing his family at the same time he was bringing Yitro to the knowledge of the One and Only God.
