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WEEK 1
TIME - A FOUNDATIONAL BOUNDARY
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Top 8 Boundaries Set by Smart & Successful People! How to Reduce Frustration and Fatigue, Increase Results, and Create Balance
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Why TIME gets our vote for the most important boundary!
Time. It is undoubtedly the number one reason people give for NOT doing what they want, or having the life they want. Volumes have been written on all the ways the electronic age has impacted our available or "discretionary" time. With as big of a barrier as time seems to be for most of us, we believe that the amount of concentrated energy you put into setting boundaries around your time will return to you in spades!
We promised we'd give you our best tips, tricks and tools. Here they are.
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TIME BOUNDARIES - THREE KEY CONCEPTS
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Understand and Apply these concepts for REAL change!
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CRACKS IN TIME
The goal is to find "cracks" of time to accomplish tasks that you haven't been able to work into your schedule--not huge chunks. Most of us find it difficult to make enormous shifts in our schedules in one fell swoop. Sometimes we can accomplish this sort of shift, but oftentimes we find it isn't sustainable. Instead, we look for "cracks" of time--five minutes each morning, or evening, or 15 minutes during our lunch hour or weekend. It's amazing how accessing these "cracks" will make a difference. (Putting it into practice: Set aside 15 minutes each Wednesday to expand your professional network--connect with someone new on LinkedIn; have a conversation with a manager in another department; or find a new professional organization event to attend.)
CONTEXT
Context is the lens through which we view or perceive things. Most in our society hold a context that there is "never enough time." As coaches, we ask our clients to shift this limiting context to one that holds that "we have all the time we need." We've all had that experience where time seems to slow down, or conversely where time seems to move more quickly than usual. Time's pace doesn't actually change (at least not on the planet)--but our perception of it does! (See our movie and magazine recommendations below.)
TIME BOUNDARIES - YOU FIRST!
If there is one takeaway that every coach hopes their client "gets" it's that creating the life you want starts with YOU. Healthy boundaries place YOU first--that includes setting limits on how you will spend your time and with whom. Is your time is over-committed? Start here: Identify your 3 top priorities. Rather than saying an automatic "yes" to invites and requests of others, practice saying an automatic "no", or "let me think about it" before committing to a new activity or assignment-especially if there are few or no real consequences for saying "no". If "no" is too big of stretch and not in your vocabulary, see What to Say below.
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My Top 3 Priorities Are:
1. __________________________________
2.
__________________________________
3.
__________________________________
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Sometimes we just don't know what to say to ourselves or others to avoid over committing. Try these:
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"I'm unable to accept/attend because I h
ave another commitment."
(psst. That "commitment" is YOU.)
"My free time today is dedicated to (attending my son's soccer game,
working on my resume or business plan, etc.)."
"I'd be happy to help with that.
Would it be OK if I got back to you when my calendar frees up?"
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DO THESE! TIPS AND TRICKS
- Review your To Do list for the three D's: items to Delegate, Delete, or Delay
- Map out your Typical Week, and Identify and Manage your Distractors and Prime Time using these worksheets
(download here)
- Create Your Ideal Daily Schedule (see Real Life Breakthrough below)
Need more support?
Follow EQC on social media for ongoing tips,
or
contact us with any questions, or for a confidential, complimentary conversation with one of our coaches.
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REAL LIFE BREAKTHROUGH
The breakthrough around time for me came when I wrote out my "ideal daily schedule." I had a two-year-old, a full-time job in consulting, a sinus infection that after months of treatment was unrelenting and a husband who worked a lot of nights and weekends.
My ideal daily schedule was an hour-to-hour account of what I wanted my day to look like: concentrated time for me, my husband and my daughter; a weekly opportunity to catch up with my then 89-year-old grandma-during sometime other than midnight; a chance to engage in world news so as to feel connected; time to read and expand my thinking; dedicated time to work productively,
and time to organize and clean my house. With a two-year-old, I thought it might be 10 to 15 years before I could have my ideal daily schedule. The truth? It took two years. Frankly, it was a lot easier than I thought it would be. I took one thing at time, I looked for cracks, I came home from work 30 minutes earlier, I slept a little longer on Sundays, I even stopped folding my hand towels (I did put them in a nice basket so I wouldn't have to look at them)! I hired a housekeeper; and I started saying "no" to others and "yes" to me and my family. Within 2 years my ideal daily schedule was fully in place.
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Want to Dive Deeper?
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MOVIE
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BOOK
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MAGAZINE
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Interstellar
(Starring Matthew McConaughey)
mystery/science fiction, 2014
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The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey (It's a classic for a reason.)
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Scientific American: A Matter of Time, Special Collector's Edition, Volume 23, No. 4 Autumn 2014
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Lisa Carpenter
