It is not our intention to send unwanted e-mail.  Please use the unsubscribe feature at the bottom of this e-mail should you choose to opt out.

THIS WEEK'S BLOG POST:
 
  8-10-2015
By Donna Shea

Some kids have a difficult time with being shy and joining in.  Some kids have mastered the social finesse of working his or her way into a group of children already playing together. Some kids demonstrate the storming-the-castle method of joining in.

Castle-stormers want to join in, but lack the ability or awareness to do so in a way that is not perceived by their peers as a hostile take-over.  Castle-stormers come in quickly, too quickly, and hijack the game or toys that the other kids are playing with in their efforts to be part of the group.  This social term popped into my brain one day when I watched a trio of boys literally storming a castle toy that a couple of girls were playing with in our social group.   A conflict over the toys quickly erupted, and I used this term to describe to the boys the social scenario that had just occurred as we worked out a truce (a picture of our peaceful group treaty is below).

Social coaching your castle-stormer includes giving him or her the right words to say that will find him or her easily included by peers.  This is as simple as teaching your child to approach the child or children he or she wants to play with and say, "I'd like to play too.  What are you doing (or what can I play with)?"  It is important to point out to your child that when he or she joins in play-in-progress, that he or she is the one who should conform to what is going on and not attempt to change or complicate the activity.
With this small change in approach, your castle-stormer can build that bridge across the moat to a great play experience.

 
 
Want more like this?

Click on images to shop for the How to Make and Keep Friends books!

 
Like us on Facebook

Follow us on Twitter   
Check out our
book trailer!