Answer this simple question   

Take one minute, and on a piece of paper (please use a

good-sized piece of paper-no scraps found at the bottom of

your purse, or stuffed in a pocket, please!) and then 

answer this question:

What do I really want?

If you can't stop writing after one minute, then go ahead --

be wild and outrageous --and take TWO MINUTES focusing

on what you really want.            

How was that?  

What was that experience like for you?

Was it: 

Fun?

Easy?

Exciting?

Scary?

Weird?

Ridiculous?   

Irritating?

Confusing? 

Impossible? 

If you were like many of my clients you might have had a difficult time taking the entire sixty seconds and creating a  wonderful list of your current desires and dreams. You may even have been baffled by this question and who knows, a few of you may even have been SUSPICIOUS enough to retort: "what do you mean, what do i want?"...(I confess that I have a snarky side and I would have retorted like that a few  years ago.)

Such a simple question.  

Ask almost any child what they want and dream about and, with their faces lit up, they will engage with enthusiasm and create a fascinating  list in seconds.         

Why would such an exercise be so difficult for people like you and me, i.e., ADULTS?  

A Simple Explanation  

After working as a life coach for 8 years now, I believe that most adults have long ago given up wanting, desiring, and dreaming. We were all told so early in our lives that we must (1) grow up, (2)  be realistic, (3) decide on what we want in life (as if the list must be short and doable),  (4) delay gratification,  and (5)  work hard.    

It is very interesting to me that even as we are all  urged to go to the gym to work out and build our muscles to be healthy and strong, few of us are urged to build (i.e., restore)  our "wanting/dreaming/desiring muscles". We all had those muscles  when we were children, but by early adolescence,  most of us  began to lose our muscle tone, so to speak.  And  by 30 - all flab!  ........ Where are these muscles located?   

In the Mind.

I have spoken many times about the power of our thinking.  Last newsletter

I even spoke about the power of just one word.

Can you imagine how powerful an ever- evolving/updated  list of interests, dreams and desires might be?

But Wait. Can you also guess what most of our adult minds are actually focused on throughout our day? If you get this right, you go to the head of the class.

Answer: (1)  Problems and (2) what we don't want, what we don't have, what is lacking  --the opposite of dreams and desires.

This is the path to good living and happiness, right? 

I don't think so.  

Desire/Positive Energy Exercise 

time to write down the following:  

Things you are:

Interested In

Fascinated By

Excited About

Enthusiastic About

Appreciate

Admire

Love

Find Beautiful

Find Brilliant

Find Inspiring  

And then add:

Any Dreams and Desires not include above!

Note: This list may include places, people, locations, artists, colors, agriculture, cultures, teachers, situations, heroes, memories, ideas, spirituality, physics, nature,  politics, fashion, music, paradigms, artistic endeavors, books, wealth, food, relationships, etc. etc. etc.  

If your critical voice (we all have one) says: "I don't have time! This is foolish!"  Ignore that voice.

As you begin to engage in this exercise, notice how you feel.  For many, it is kind of -- dare I say -- fun!  I have had clients smile from ear to ear.  (Feeling good by the way IS good. Most of us fail to listen to that feeling, which is our natural guidance system. But more on this in a future newsletter.)  

Once you have finished a first go-around, take a moment to acknowledge that the list is Unique to You. No one else in the whole world will have the same list. I think that is cool. Don't you?   

The next step is to intentionally begin to focus on the items on this list.  Place copies of the list in all the obvious places: refrigerator, billfold/purse, workplace, computer file, smart phone, bathroom mirror, bedside table.  Consciously and intentionally read about your interests and desires and fascinations,  and do so often.  Enjoy them. Think about them. Add to the list as you discover new interests or you remember an old interest long forgotten.  

Why? 

What we focus on, expands. And if the focus is on what inspires, interests, excites you, and on what you love, admire and find brilliant, then your life will change. Some stuff won't disappear (like your job, the weather, politics, weeds), but life will inevitably become more fun and more interesting.   

As for happiness?  

Stuart Wilde, a well-known writer and coach, was asked this question by a member in one of his workshops:   how can I be a  happier person? He replied with this question: "What do you love doing?" She told him several things she loved to do, and he said: "Do more of that."        

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