With longer days and the sun shining, a spring theme continues here at the Children's House!  

At school, the children have been counting spring peepers and flowers, making books using stamps with springtime pictures, and expanded on the exploration of time. This month, the children have used a mantra to expand on this meditative and soothing exercise: "I am a sea of peace. I am an ocean of calm." To begin, this mantra is spoken at a regular volume and repeated while growing incrementally softer, to a whisper and eventually, silence.

Students have also started to "plant" a garden- "The Garden of Kindness." Students are encouraged to make flowers from cut-paper and then add kind words to the blossoms.  A  new song has been introduced to compliment this activity:

This work emphasizes social awareness and the importance of being a thoughtful community member.  We will continue "growing" this garden for the rest of the school year!

2. Make caring for others a priority and set high ethical expectations. 

If children are to value others' perspectives and show compassion for them, it's very important that they hear from their parents that caring about others is a top priority, and that it is just as important as their own happiness.

Children are born with the capacity for empathy, but it needs to be nurtured throughout their lives.  It requires practice and guidance. Regularly considering other people's perspectives and circumstances helps make empathy a natural reflex and, through trial and error, helps children get better at tuning into others' feelings and perspectives.

Try this:

*Hold family meetings when there are family challenges or conflicts, and in those meetings give children a voice and encourage them to take the perspective of other family members. Listen carefully to your children's views and ask your children to listen carefully to the views of others.

*Encouraging empathy for peers. Ask children about their classmates and other peers. Ask children when they're in conflicts with peers to consider their peers' perspectives.

*Notice with your child when you're together and someone exhibits strong empathy - or shows a lack of empathy - either in your daily life or in a book or on television. Discuss why acts of empathy are important and why lacking empathy can be harmful.

*Discuss with your child ethical dilemmas that help them appreciate various perspectives, e.g., "Should I invite a new neighbor to my birthday party when my best friend doesn't like her?"

4.Expand your child's circle of concern

We often talk about empathy as a quantity. For example, we speak of children as having a lot of or a little empathy or as lacking empathy entirely. Yet the issue often isn't whether children can empathize or how much empathy they have. It is who they have empathy for. For most of us, it's not hard to have empathy for our family members and close friends. It's also human nature to have empathy for people who are like us in some way. But the real issue is whether children (and adults) have empathy outside that circle. As parents and caretakers, it's not only important that we model appreciation for many types of people. It's important that we guide children in understanding and caring for many kinds of people who are different from them and who may be facing challenges very different from their own challenges.

Try this:

*Help children learn to zoom in, tuning in carefully to others, but also to zoom out, taking in multiple perspectives and people. Use the different experiences of children in another country or community.

*Emphasize with your child the importance of really listening to others, especially those people who may seem unfamiliar whom they don't immediately understand. Encourage children to consider the feelings of those who may be vulnerable, such as a child experiencing some family trouble or an unpopular child. Give children some simple ideas for taking action, like comforting a classmate who was teased.

5.Help children develop self-control and manage feelings effectively

Often when children don't express empathy it's not because they don't have it. It's because some feeling or image is blocking their empathy. Often the ability to care for others is overwhelmed, for example, by anger, shame, envy, or other negative feelings.  Helping children manage these negative feelings as well as stereotypes and prejudices about others is often what "releases" their empathy.

Try This:

*Name for children their difficult feelings such as frustration, sadness and anger and encourage them to talk to you about why they're feeling that way.

*A simple way to help children to manage their feelings is to practice three easy steps together: stop, take a deep breath through the nose and exhale through the mouth, and count to five. Try it when your children are calm. Then, when you see them getting upset, remind them about the steps and do them together.

*Practice with your child how to resolve conflicts. Consider a conflict you or your child witnessed or experienced that turned out badly, and role play different ways of responding. Try to achieve mutual understanding - listening to and paraphrasing each other's feelings until both persons feel understood. If your child observes you experiencing a difficult feeling and is concerned, talk to your child about how you are handling it.