When wanting to find forgiveness for someone else, ask yourself for 3 examples where you have been imperfect and engaged in troubled behaviour. It can be around a similar theme. For example, if someone else has been selfish, find 3 examples in your life where you engaged in selfish behaviour. Once you've written them down, take a deep breath, and then go back to the individual that you are holding non-forgiveness towards. You may find that the amount of judgement that you are holding has softened.  Remember it's not about absolving the other person; it's about softening the hold that judgement has on you.

 

"Every joy is gain. And gain is gain, however small." 

 

Beverley has been a practicing counsellor for over 30 years. She has worked extensively in Canada, Australia, Japan, and Thailand. Beverley currently has a full-time practice on the North Shore. Beverley has a highly intuitive ability to help people uproot core issues that are holding them back from moving forward to where they want to be in terms of their own self-growth. She works extensively with couples and families and individuals with numerous presenting issues.

Read more...

 

Self-forgiveness has been the underlying theme as I navigated through my twenties, thirties and now forties. I don't believe self-forgiveness was in my vocabulary during my twenties. I just knew that there were things I had done that I regretted and wished I could undo; I lived so far outside of myself looking for acceptance and validation from others perhaps as an unconscious attempt to transmute what I felt were personal transgressions and I did this in unhealthy ways without knowing that was what I was doing. I entered into a long period of self-harm that extended well into my thirties; addictions, disordered eating, suicidal tendencies, and depression characterized my life and for the longest time I believed this was as good as my life would be, and that perhaps I was paying the price for all those things I regretted from the past. Read More

Best wishes,