"Networking is rubbish; have friends instead."    - Steve Winwood

The problem with most traditional networking events is this: the selection process for attendees is almost entirely random. People may be members of the same umbrella organization (like a chamber of commerce, for instance), but there's no other glue, no common thread that binds them together. So they're young and old, male and female, and they're from an entire spectrum of organizations . . . large and small, manufacturing, service, retail, hospitality, not-for-profit, on and on and on. In that kind of hodge podge of people, you're probably going to walk out with a fistful of business cards that have no real value for you or your business. It's a little like trying to find your soul mate in a crowded bar . . . could happen, but the odds are heavily against you.

There's a lot of truth in the notion that people do business with people they know, like, and trust. But in the sort randomized networking events described above, how can you hope to develop strong know/like/trust relationships? Pretty tough to do. So what's the alternative?

According to the people in last week's discussion, their best, most productive referral sources come from pursuing other, mostly non-business, interests. They might come from serving on the Board of a charitable foundation, or from serving on a committee at church, or from joining a book club. Maybe your passion is chess, or scuba diving, or doing volunteer conservation work. Whatever it is, when you pursue your passion by joining with others who share your interest, you provide the glue that allows a long-term, know/like/trust relationship to develop . . . the kind of relationship that typically doesn't grow from a business card swap-o-rama networking event.

We're not talking about something cynical here . . . we're not saying we should all go out and join the National Cancer Society because we'll get good referrals from it. But there's no doubt, when we need help in our business, we will turn first to a friend. So the question is, where are such friendships most likely to take root? In traditional networking events? Or in groups of people working or playing together in pursuit of a shared interest?