LESSON 126
All that I give is given to myself.

Over the years as I have watched my own process with the application of these Lessons, I have noticed how much resistance I have had in following the instructions for the Lesson practice as laid out by Jesus. I have tended to do the practice the way that I believed worked for me. I had resistance to following the structure laid out. I noticed my reluctance to comply with the careful design that was laid out in each Lesson. In other words, I put myself in charge of the process instead of surrendering to the plan as laid out by Jesus. What is it that makes me think that my way and my process is right? Could it be that it is my issue with authority and being told what to do? As Jesus says, " Be willing to be taught." (W.126.10.3)
 
It is helpful for each of us to look at the many forms our resistance takes. It may be forgetting the Lesson, deciding to do it our way, or projecting our own understanding from past teachings to what we read. When I take more time in focusing on the instructions that Jesus has laid down for the practice, I become even more aware of how much resistance I have to "being told what to do." Clearly I like to do things my way. It certainly is an indication of the level of fear that is there of waking up from this dream. I see how attached I am to my way, my specialness, my unique self, and my experiences. It is an investment in this world that I still hang onto. Having said that, I find that the teaching has taken on a deeper, more profound meaning for me, and in this understanding has come an increased recognition of the implications of truly and deeply accepting where this process is taking us. Further, I am finding it increasingly painful to accept the ego's counsel to compare, judge, attack, and try to benefit at anyone's expense and that is a good awareness! It makes me realize even more deeply the message of this Lesson, which is that I can only give to myself. " All that I give is given to myself" (W.126) because there is only one of us. My brother and I are one and what I give to him I am giving to myself and when I attack him I am only attacking myself.
 
The Lesson today is so pivotal to our appreciation of just how wrong we are about everything. This realization is essential in our willingness to listen and to be taught. This is a Lesson, more than any other, perhaps in overcoming the ego. I say that because Jesus is very clear in his statement,  " Today's idea is completely alien to the ego and the thinking of the world," (W.126.1.1) meaning that we just don't get it. Oh yes, we might, at this point, be able to understand this idea conceptually and even have some significant success with forgiveness, but Jesus goes on to explain why we still really don't get it. He explains how we don't see that if we attack a brother, we are doing it to ourselves, and if we give love, we are receiving it for ourselves. In other words, what we don't see is that our identity is one. We still see ourselves as different from our brothers.
 
The thought system of the ego, which is to see differences and to make separation real in our minds, certainly does not affirm this message of sameness. The thought system of the ego is entirely based on differences, on private thoughts and on separate interests. It started with the thought that I am separate from God and different from Him. It started with the thought that now I have a will separate from God and I am the one sitting on the throne, not Him. There can only be one reality, so if He is real, how can I be real and exist? This thought is not in our awareness, but it is seen in our relationships with everyone. We don't see ourselves as the same, but rather as separate beings, thinking our own separate thoughts and living in our separate bodies. I see everyone outside of me and different from me.

As a result, we don't see our brothers' appeals for help as our own. We don't see their problems as having anything to do with us, and we see them as the miserable sinners that God will hopefully ultimately punish for their sins rather than us. The purpose behind this scenario is so that we can now see ourselves as the innocent ones and others are the ones that must carry our guilt. Hopefully we will get off scot free as a result and they will experience God's punishment. We can easily find those that we can blame for their sins, which of course are our own projections of our guilt. We think we can judge their 'evil deeds' and yet see ourselves as remaining totally apart from that judgment because we have forgotten that the origin of our condemnation is in the guilt in our own minds. We have chosen not to see that it is our guilt that is projected onto the figures in the dream that we are dreaming, which is precisely how the ego has set it all up. And to make it even more real for us, the ego has given us separate bodies with senses that show us the sins of others. " It seems to you that other people are apart from you, and able to behave in ways which have no bearing on your thoughts, nor yours on theirs." (W.126.2.2)
 
Jesus goes on to explain the kind of forgiveness that sees this sin in others as real and then tries to overlook it or forgive it. He calls this "forgiveness to destroy." I spoke about it before in Lesson 121. It is basically about being charitable to someone less worthy, so that we might see ourselves as superior, more spiritual and even condescending. " He has not earned your charitable tolerance, which you bestow on one unworthy of the gift, because his sins have lowered him beneath a true equality with you." (W.126.3.3) Thus, our superior stance in relation to another whom we choose to forgive and deem guilty of a sin is simply an attack. While you may think you are offering forgiveness, in fact, you are actually benefiting yourself. We have made the sin real in someone else and maintain our own specialness at the expense of our brother's guilt. Also, I am the determiner of whether you deserve my charitable notion of forgiveness or not, based on my judgment of your worthiness. This kind of forgiveness, based on whim, is to a large extent how the Bible has defined God, sometimes punishing and sometimes being merciful depending on His mood. We have just made God in our own image. We have told Him who He is according to our definition.
 
In summary, we believe: 1. that other people are apart from us, 2. their thoughts have no bearing on ours, 3. that there is no direct impact of our attitudes on theirs, 4. that their call for help has nothing to do with our own need for help,  5. and that we can judge their sin without affecting our perception of ourselves. In other words, we believe we can judge their sin yet remain perfectly at peace ourselves and apart from condemnation. Think about it. Isn't that the way that we mostly think? Buying into the ego thought system is buying into our belief that we are separate, unique individuals, with separate interests, that we are bodies living in a world of time and space, birth and death, experiencing pain, pleasure, vulnerability, problems, all of which we see as real.

We rail against the world and against the guilt in others. Clearly Jesus tells us that there is no peace in this for us. There is no release from the guilt in our own minds.  " It has no power to restore your unity with him to your awareness." (W.126.6.5) The goal of this Course for healing the mind cannot occur when we see forgiveness in this way. "It is not what God intended it to be for you." (W.126.6.6) God intended that forgiveness of another be for the healing of our own minds, so that we can experience the gifts of God He has laid out for us, which we don't currently experience consistently. These gifts are peace, " happiness, a quiet mind, a certainty of purpose, and a sense of worth and beauty that transcends the world." (W.122.1.4)
 
Taking responsibility for our own projections is the process by which healing can be brought to our minds. When our sin, guilt and fear (none of which are real) are brought to the light, then we will see a world of innocence. We would have no problem at all forgiving anyone, if we truly saw that this would free us from continuing to hurt ourselves. " You would understand the means by which salvation comes to you, and would not hesitate to use it now." (W.126.1.3) How we see others has a profound effect on how we see ourselves. When we condemn others, we lose our own peace of mind. Surely that is not something we would want to choose for ourselves. And yet we do.
 
We will only know our own innocence when we can see it in others. Does that mean that we should pretend that we don't see wrongdoing? No, the ego is erratic and we will continue to see misbehavior, but we can see attacking behavior in someone and still recognize the innate innocence of this person, when we are able to see with vision. When we lack confidence in them, we deny the power of their minds to change and thus we deny the power to change our own minds. The gift of forgiveness is really for ourselves. " Yet would He ask you for a gift unless it was for you?" (W.126.7.2) True forgiveness is the way that we achieve the gifts of salvation (happiness). True forgiveness " must heal the mind that gives, for giving is receiving." (W.126.7.5) When we bring our own projections back to the mind, take responsibility for them there, and willingly turn them over to the Holy Spirit, then " What has been given must have been received," (W.126.7.6) because our minds are joined.
 
As I was writing this, a friend dropped by and was in great distress because he said his boss was constantly criticizing him. Thus, he sees his boss as guilty of attack and he, in turn, defends his position as one of innocence and feels completely misunderstood. What my friend chooses not see is that his own self-attack is what he is seeing outside of himself. His boss is simply playing out the role that my friend has assigned to him. He is acting out the attack that is in my friend's mind and seen in the split off part of himself, which is now seen in his boss. The answer is to change our perception of the other, so that we can change our perception of ourselves. This is what the gift of salvation is, and the means for this is true forgiveness, where we take complete responsibility for the outward picture of our own inward condition. Jesus says, " You will need help to make this meaningful, because it is so alien to the thoughts to which you are accustomed." (W.126.8.2)
 
Thus, we are cautioned by Jesus when he says " Do not leave any spot of pain hidden from His Light, and search your mind carefully for any thoughts you may fear to uncover. For He will heal every little thought you have kept to hurt you and cleanse it of its littleness, restoring it to the magnitude of God." (T.13.III.7.5-6)(ACIM OE T.12.III.17) This requires true humility and willingness, to have our own thoughts corrected. We must realize how we are using others to keep ourselves from the love that we are. It takes great learning, because as Jesus says, it is indeed alien to our current way of thinking.
 
" And if you only catch a tiny glimpse of the release that lies in the idea we practice today, this is a day of glory for the world." (W.126.8.5) We do this by exempting no one from our love for we no longer choose to crucify ourselves. We choose to join our brothers rather than set ourselves apart. We are learning to give up the insanity of the ego. We are willing to see that we have been wrong about ourselves and are willing to " ask Him that He share your practicing in truth today." (W.126.8.4) Ask for help today whenever you see a problem out there. Ask to see that it is truly originating in your own mind and can only be forgiven there. Others are a reflection of what is unhealed in your own mind. Thus, the help you ask for in any situation is always for yourself. We are asked to see the power of forgiveness to release our own minds and thus realize its' worth to us. Ultimately it is a gift to ourselves. All the forgiveness we offer we offer to ourselves. " And true forgiveness, as the means by which it [salvation] is attained, must heal the mind that gives, for giving is receiving." (W.126.7.5)
 
Our judgments and attacks are all defenses against love, yet we yearn to return to the love that we are. The conflict in our minds will continue until we recognize and accept this and make forgiveness our first priority in every situation. Again we do this by being " willing to be taught." (W.126.10.3) " Be glad to hear the Voice of truth and healing speak to you, and you will understand the words He speaks, and recognize He speaks your words to you." (W.126.10.4) In other words, the truth is already in our minds and known to us. The Holy Spirit is not separate from us.
 
We are urged to make this day of special value to us. That means we must set our goal today to remember that " All that I give is given to myself. The Help I need to learn that this is true is with me now. And I will trust Him." (W.126.11.3-5) What this means is that we must become willing to go through this day and ask for help of the Holy Spirit throughout the day to shine away all disturbing thoughts that keep us blind to the grandeur of our reality as the Son of God. It means that we choose to stay vigilant with regard to any distressing thoughts and be willing to choose against them with His help. Ask for it and know that the Answer is always given when we commit to seeing the false as false.
 
Watch your judgments today and be vigilant of your ego, so that you can bring your judgments and attacks to the light and see that they are your own secret sins that you are holding against your brother. Recognize that any attacks on your brother are never justified. Recognize those times when you see anyone outside of you seeming to rob you of your peace. Bring the illusions of your misperceptions to His truth. Ask for help in understanding that you share the same interests as your brother. See that you have taught yourself wrongly. All the expressions of strong feelings and opinions, either good or bad, are illusory and simply reflect a choice for the ego. Real strength is in quietness.

Again, remind yourself as often as you can that you have a goal today, an aim which makes this day of special value to yourself and all your brothers. Do not forget this goal for long, but tell yourself: " All that I give is given to myself. The Help I need to learn that this is true is with me now. And I will trust in Him." (W.126.11.3-5) Then quiet your mind and open it to hear the Holy Spirit speak to you.
   

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