This line, " You think you are the home of evil, darkness and sin," (W.93.1.1) feels very dark, and not something we consciously think. I don't have in my awareness that anyone would want to recoil from me like a poisonous snake. (W.93.1.2) I don't recognize the deep level of guilt that is in me. Yet Jesus says that we achieved our individual self through the death of God. We built our self-concept at a perceived cost to Him because we can't exist if He does. It is one or the other, but we don't recognize this. We prefer to see the sin and guilt, which we believe is in us, in others instead. We see our guilt in those that we describe as evil, sinful, and deserving death. That is how we conceal and cover up the guilt that is in us. We can't afford to see it because Jesus says that if we did, we " would be struck with horror so intense that you would rush to death by your own hand." (W.93.1.3) To continue to live after seeing this in ourselves would be impossible, he says. This is the picture that we defend against because we don't want to see the sin in our own minds. This is what we would see in ourselves, if our defenses were shattered. The sin is a belief that we have destroyed God so that we could exist as separate from Him.

Now we have made a separate self that we cherish. This separate self is described in the Psychotherapy Pamphlet as " This self he sees as being acted on, reacting to external forces as they demand, and helpless midst the power of the world." (P.1.3.6)

We can certainly relate to that sense of powerlessness in this world of war, disease, and many forces beyond our control, whether on a world stage or in our personal lives. How do we try to deal with all of this in the world, since we are certainly not happy in this powerless state? We seek out ways to be more in control, defend against what we see as attacks, and find allies. We work to build up the confidence needed to allow for stability and power to win our war with the world. We try to achieve a measure of self-esteem. We try to gather as much power as we can to build up our ability to handle what the world throws at us. Or we might even build a spiritual self-image that we put on instead of recognizing the importance of undoing the ego.

We inflate the self that we think we are in order to hide our insecurity and fear and cover up the little self that is there. The real culprit is our belief in sin and guilt. Jesus tells us that all moods that are less than joyous come from guilt. We can attribute these moods to all kinds of other things in the world that we believe have brought them about for us. Yet, Jesus keeps reminding us that it is only our guilt that is the cause of our angst, and it is only our grievances that are the source of our problems. Therefore the only way through this dilemma is to go within and bring our dark thoughts to the light. It is to be always watching the mind.

" When your mood tells you that you have chosen wrongly, and this is so whenever you are not joyous, then know this need not be. In every case you have thought wrongly about some brother God created, and are perceiving images your ego makes in a darkened glass."  (T.4.IV.2.2-3)(ACIM OE T.4.V.57) " When you feel guilty, remember that the ego has indeed violated the laws of God, but you have not. Leave the 'sins' of the ego to me. That is what Atonement is for. But until you change your mind about those whom your ego has hurt, the Atonement cannot release you. While you feel guilty, your ego is in command, because only the ego can experience guilt. This need not be." (T.4.IV.5.1-6)(ACIM OE T.4.V.61)

In other words, when we are less than loving in any situation and to anyone, we feel guilt. Basically, we made up a self-concept and then we made up a world that supports our self-concept and validates the truth of it, which gives us the illusion that we have created ourselves. Yet this self-concept bears no likeness to our Self.  In fact, it is a replacement for this Self. " A concept of the self is made by you. It bears no likeness to yourself at all. It is an idol, made to take the place of your reality as Son of God." (T.31.V.2.1-3)(ACIM OE T.31.V.44)

That self-concept, which we made up, and all of the thoughts associated with it are " based on nothing." (W.93.2.1) What I think I am and everything I believe about myself is simply not the truth. This is quite a statement, if we really think about it at all. Everything we say about ourselves must therefore be untrue. It is all based on nothing. Yet we hold onto our thoughts and beliefs that are based on nothing because they define us and we value what we think we are. That is why Jesus is so gentle with us as we go through the undoing of our investment in this illusory self. It is a process that brings up a great deal of fear and resistance in us. First of all, we really don't want to look at the darkness that Jesus describes here, and secondly we are even more afraid of the love that we are.

A movie that illustrates that beautifully is called, "The Upside of Anger," which shows how our thoughts create our experience. It is our own minds that have created the picture of our so-called reality and it is all false perception. Yet we believe in what we have made. In another recent movie with Kirk Douglas called "Illusion," we see another example of how a young man, abandoned by his father, has made up his own story of his worthlessness, holding the belief that he does not deserve happiness. This is how we have built the self-image that we hold. We give meaning to our experiences and take from them an interpretation of who we are. Again, in both instances, the guilt is seen outside of our own minds and projected onto others, because we really don't want to see it in ourselves. Even if we see ourselves guilty, there is someone else that we see responsible for our condition.

To uproot our self-image we really need to look honestly at our own darkness. Jesus is encouraging us in this process by saying that the only thing we have done is that we have made mistakes. (W.93.2.2) In other words, while he says that he knows that we think we are the home of evil and darkness, it is not the truth. He knows that we have " sought salvation in strange ways; have been deceived, deceiving and afraid of foolish fantasies and savage dreams." (W.93.2.2) He knows us in our foolishness, but he also knows the truth about us! In order to accept how secure, lofty, sinless, glorious and totally perfect our true Self is, he says that we must question what we think about ourselves, but we can't question what we think from our own reference point. We need to look at our darkness from his perspective, which is to look without judgment of ourselves, meaning to look from above the battleground. (T.23.IV)(ACIM OE T.23.V)

We do not share the perception that Jesus has of us that we are pure and holy and that light and joy and peace abide in us. We do not respond with joy, when we are " assured that all the evil that you think you did was never done, that all your sins are nothing." (W.93.4.1) Why? Because we value our special self and resist the message that our " thoughts are not according to God's Will." (W.93.3.2) It is only when we look at our fear and realize how much misery and suffering it has brought to our lives that we become more willing to question our beliefs and recognize how much we have misperceived ourselves, others and the world. This self that we think we are is the image, the character in the dream that has no foundation. This image " cannot withstand the Will of God," (W.93.4.2) but it brings up tremendous fear because the image is what we think we are. Yet Jesus says that " anything it [this image] seems to do and think means nothing." (W.93.5.3) " It is neither bad nor good." (W.93.5.4) The end of this identity seems to us to be death, but Jesus assures us that " it is life." (W.93.4.3) " You think you are destroyed, but you are saved." (W.93.4.4)

Jesus tells us that whatever we think we have done has no effect. We simply cannot and have not made ourselves unworthy because we have not done " battle with the Son of God." (W.93.5.6) We have not changed ourselves. Nothing real has happened. We have not sinned, have not changed who we are, and have no power to " contradict the Will of God." (W.93.5.9) Again, this is a statement of the Atonement principle, which says we cannot change who we are. We can only change our awareness of the truth. My " sinlessness is guaranteed by God!" (W.93.6.1) This is fact! This " must be repeated, until it is accepted," (W.93.6.2) which means that we bring our misperceptions of who we are, our dark and hateful thoughts and our judgments to the truth. It means that, if we hold a thought that is not true, we are willing to recognize, with conviction, that we are holding something that is not true. The only thing that is true is that we are sinless. It reminds me of miracle Principle 14, which says that miracles arise from conviction. To me that means we can stand in truth and not invest in what does not exist, which are our hateful, angry, distressing thoughts. They are truly all meaningless. We can dismiss them as the lies of the ego about us and simply refuse to listen.

We are using our time now to learn the Lessons that this Course is bringing to us. We need to do this on behalf of our own release because we have over-learned the ego's program. In order to know the truth about who we are, we need to see how we are projecting our guilt onto others. We need to bring these projections to the Holy Spirit. We need to bring our beliefs, that we are the home of evil, darkness and sin, to the light. We have developed defenses to protect our self-image, but now we are asked to question what we believe. I did not make myself. Any thought of what "I" made of myself must be brought to doubt and to the light of the Holy Spirit. Light and joy and peace abide in my mind because I am part of God.

Will the affirmations change our minds about what we are? The only change that will come will be the release of the false self. Then the truth can emerge. We clearly need to work to release the blocks to that truth. We must go through the darkness to the light. There is no way around that fact, but my experience has been that being reminded of the truth of who we are allows us to look at our darkness, recognizing that it is not who we are. Thus, it allows me to get more honest about the ego, recognizing that it is not really me at all. My dark thoughts separate me from the truth of my reality. If I really see this, I become more willing to expose these thoughts. When I was identifying myself totally with the ego, trying to keep my image intact, raising my self-esteem, focusing on my best interests as I defined them, I wasn't even aware that there were any other options or that there is a Self beyond this image. I didn't know that there was a choice to be made. Being aware of this choice that we can make is the source of our power, but to look at our dark thoughts and take responsibility for them does take courage. Affirming in my mind the truth of who I am gives me that courage to look. Now I know more clearly that there is a Self apart from the ego with which I have identified. While affirmations won't change our ego identity, because the ego won't be shouted down, they are helpful in reminding us of the truth of who we really are.

When we are told of our perfection, our ego minds argue and resist the idea. We raise arguments to disprove our perfection and our innocence. The deeper reason for this is because this idea threatens our existence as we see it or as we have made it. If we really accepted the truth about ourselves, it would terrify us because it turns our world upside down and uproots our frame of reference. It is frightening to think we have been so totally mistaken about ourselves and that we don't even know who we are. Our identity in the world has been formed by taking in perceptions of what others think of us. It is terrifying to realize that " I do not know the thing I am and therefore do not know what I am doing, where I am or how to look upon the world or on myself." (T.31.V.17.7)(ACIM OE T.31.V.60)

Today, let us focus on opening to the immensity of " the unity of your one Self. Try to appreciate Its Holiness and the love from which It was created." (W.93.9.3-4) We are asked " not to interfere," (W.93.9.5) by hiding this magnificent Self behind the idol of ourselves that we have made. " Humility will never ask that you remain content with littleness. But it does require that you be not content with less than greatness that comes not of you." (T.18.IV.3.1-2)(ACIM OE T.18.V.34)

Our lives here, both in the sense of the physical as well as psychological, are about concealing the truth. We do so by projecting our guilt onto our brothers. It is our brother who took our peace away, we tell ourselves. I am innocent and everyone else is guilty, but deep down we do know that we are guilty. On a deeper level, outside of our awareness, we are making a bargain with God so others will get punished by Him instead of us. It is a false innocence I am buying at the expense of others, but Jesus is helping us to see that there is no need to pretend we are faultless when we actually are. Why not just look at our own darkness instead of projecting it, and take responsibility for it, so we can truly know our real innocence and not the one we bought at our brothers' expense. Now we can loosen our hold on how right we are on how we see everything and admit that we have been wrong. That is the beginning of real learning.

What does it tell me, if I find that I am not using the first five minutes of every hour to remind myself of the truth? Why would I not be willing? Clearly Jesus expects us not to trust the truth of this teaching and, in fact, to actively resist it. Our resistance shows up in other priorities that seem more important to us than focusing on the Lesson. Or we simply forget the Lesson throughout our day. The self that I identify with in the world believes that what I am doing in this world of form is real and important, but more important, it preserves and protects my uniqueness and specialness with which I identify. It actually fears the truth. I can give all of these thoughts, fears, concerns, as well as any resistance that I am experiencing, to the Holy Spirit and recognize their nothingness. I can recognize that there is no need for guilt. We are also asked to respond to any disturbances today by quickly dispelling them with this thought. Apply these ideas every time you are upset or disturbed about anything today.

Jesus is reminding us that extending love and joining with our brothers is the way we can learn who we are, heal our minds and hear the Voice for God. On the other hand, every time we attack anyone we are hiding our light, our peace and our joy, and our attacks then come back to hurt us. That is why we are being given all of these thoughts, so that we can incorporate them into a way of being in the world, where we are given many opportunities to apply the thoughts daily. We are all worth this effort, which is given to reprogramming the software of the ego thought system to another way of thinking and being.

It is also important to apply the Lesson, when " a situation arises that seems to be disturbing," (W.93.11.1) and when we are " tempted to become angry with someone." (W.93.11.2) In these cases, we tell them silently, " Light and joy and peace abide in you. Your sinlessness is guaranteed by God." (W.93.11.3-4)

TEXT

⁶⁹ Attitudes toward the body are attitudes toward attack. The ego's definitions of everything are childish and always based on what it believes a thing is for. This is because it is incapable of true generalizations and equates what it sees with the function it ascribes to it. It does not equate it with what it is. To the ego, the body is to attack with. Equating you with the body, it teaches that you are to attack with, because this is what it believes. The body, then, is not the source of its own health. The body's condition lies solely in your interpretation of its function.

 

⁷⁰ The reason why definitions in terms of function are inferior is that they may well be inaccurate. Functions are part of being since they arise from it, but the relationship is not reciprocal. The whole does define the part, but the part does not define the whole. This is as true of knowledge as it is of perception. The reason to know in part is to know entirely is because of the fundamental difference between knowledge and perception. In perception the whole is built up of parts, which can separate and reassemble in different constellations. Knowledge never changes, so its constellation is permanent. The only areas in which part-whole relationships have any meaning are those in which change is possible. There is no difference between the whole and the part where change is impossible.

 

⁷¹ The body exists in a world which seems to contain two voices which are fighting for its possession. In this perceived constellation, the body is regarded as capable of shifting its control from one to the other, making the concept of both health and sickness possible. The ego makes a fundamental confusion between means and ends, as it always does. Regarding the body as an end, the ego has no real use for it because it is not an end. You must have noticed an outstanding characteristic of every end that the ego has accepted as its own. When you have achieved it, it has not satisfied you. This is why the ego is forced to shift from one end to another without ceasing, so that you will continue to hope that it can yet offer you something.

 

⁷² It has been particularly difficult to overcome the ego's belief in the body as an end, because this is synonymous with the belief in attack as an end. The ego has a real investment in sickness. If you are sick, how can you object to the ego's firm belief that you are not invulnerable? This is a particularly appealing argument from the ego's point of view because it obscures the obvious attack which underlies the sickness. If you accepted this and also decided against attack, you could not give this false witness to the ego's stand.

 

⁷³ It is hard to perceive sickness as a false witness because you do not realize that it is entirely out of keeping with what you want. This witness, then, appears to be innocent and trustworthy because you have not seriously cross-examined him. If you did, you would not consider sickness such a strong witness on behalf of the ego's views.

 

⁷⁴ A more honest statement would be as follows:  Those who want the ego are predisposed to defend it. Therefore, their choice of witnesses should be suspect from the beginning. The ego does not call upon witnesses who would disagree with its case, nor does the Holy Spirit. We have said that judgment is the function of the Holy Spirit and one which He is perfectly equipped to fulfill. The ego as a judge gives anything but an impartial judgment. When the ego calls on a witness, it has already made the witness an ally.

 

⁷⁵ It is still true that the body has no function of itself, because it is not an end. The ego, however, establishes it as an end because as such it will lose its true function. This is the purpose of everything the ego does. Its sole aim is to lose sight of the function of everything. A sick body does not make any sense. It could not make sense, because sickness is not what the body is for. Sickness is meaningful only if the two basic premises on which the ego's interpretation of the body rests are true. Specifically, these are that the body is for attack and that you are a body. Without these premises, sickness is completely inconceivable.

 

⁷⁶ Sickness is a way of demonstrating that you can be hurt. It is a witness to your frailty, your vulnerability, and your extreme need to depend on external guidance. The ego uses this as its best argument for your need for its guidance. It dictates endless prescriptions for avoiding catastrophic outcomes. The Holy Spirit, perfectly aware of the same data, does not bother to analyze them at all. If the data are meaningless, there is no point in considering them. The function of truth is to collect data which are true. There is no point in trying to make sense out of meaningless data. Any way you handle them results in nothing. The more complicated the results become, the harder it may be to recognize their nothingness, but it is not necessary to examine all possible outcomes to which premises give rise to judge them truly.

 

⁷⁷ A learning device is not a teacher. It cannot tell you how you feel. You do not know how you feel because you have accepted the ego's confusion, and you think that a learning device can tell you how you feel. Sickness is merely another example of your insistence on asking the guidance of a teacher who does not know the answer. The ego is incapable of knowing how you feel. When we said that the ego does not know anything, we said the one thing about the ego that is wholly true. But there is a corollary; if knowledge is being and the ego has no knowledge, then the ego has no being.

 

⁷⁸ You might well ask how the voice of something which does not exist can be so insistent. Have you seriously considered the distorting power of something you want, even if it is not true? You have had many instances of how what you want can distort what you see and hear. No one can doubt the ego's skill in building up false cases. Nor can anyone doubt your willingness to listen until you will not to tolerate anything except truth. When you lay the ego aside, it will be gone. The Holy Spirit's Voice is as loud as your willingness to listen. It cannot be louder without violating your will, which the Holy Spirit seeks to free but never to command.

 

⁷⁹ The Holy Spirit teaches you to use your body only to reach your brothers, so He can teach His message through you. This will heal them and therefore heal you. Everything used in accordance with its function as the Holy Spirit sees it cannot be sick. Everything used otherwise is. Do not allow the body to be a mirror of a split mind. Do not let it be an image of your own perception of littleness. Do not let it reflect your will to attack. Health is the natural state of anything whose interpretation is left to the Holy Spirit, Who perceives no attack on anything. Health is the result of relinquishing all attempts to use the body lovelessly. Health is the beginning of the proper perspective on life under the guidance of the one Teacher Who knows what life is, being the Voice for Life Itself.

 

 

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