In February, the fabled month of love, we're taking a look at how to brush up on relationship skills. 

While nothing can take the place of personal relationship counseling, like that we provide at The Morton Center, the following general tips can be useful to make your Valentine's Day sweeter.

Handling conflict is an important skill for relationship success. The first bit of advice: Don't freak out if you fight with your partner. Conflict in marriage is common, and not a sign that a relationship is automatically doomed.

Your relationship is also affected by where you are in it. Successful marriages generally go through four stages: the honeymoon stage, the reality stage, the make-it-or-break-it-stage, and the healthy couplehood stage. The reality stage, after the honeymoon wears off, and the make-it-or-break-it-stage are the most challenging, and the ones in which partners are especially prone to doubt, conflict and disappointment. 

Couples embroiled in these stages can move on to successful couplehood by learning how to work through disagreements in a productive way. Counseling can help, as well as learning how to "fight fair:"

• Be willing to negotiate and compromise when there's a disagreement. Both you and your partner must be willing to give something to get something.
• Stay in the present when you're bringing up an issue, and stick to one at a time. No dumping multiple issues on your partner all at once, or dredging up that thing from six months ago.
• Be humble when bringing up an issue. If you acknowledge your own contributions to the problem at hand, it makes it easier for your partner to acknowledge theirs, as well.
• When you're telling your spouse about a problem, use "I feel" instead of "you are" (insert accusation here.) "I feel" focuses on you and the issue, rather than your partner and their perceived failings.

Marriage can be challenging at the best of times, but when one or both partners are also struggling with addictions, those challenges can seem overwhelming. At The Morton Center, our professional counselors help couples with addiction issues address both the addiction, and its effects on the relationship. This counseling can make a life-changing difference in the lives of our clients. As one of them recently told us:

"I went through a divorce and was not able to carry on healthy relationships. I had moments when I believed I had a problem with alcohol and drugs, but overall I thought I was managing just fine. The Morton Center helped me begin to understand how unhealthy the 'normal' I knew was...Today I have over a year of sobriety...and I am learning what it means to live a life full of joy and wonder. The Morton Center was a major catalyst for change in my life and I would not be where I am today without them. Thank you Morton Center!"

At The Morton Center, we help our clients find sobriety, better health and better relationships every day, not just on the holiday of love. But we couldn't do it without our faithful donors.

This Valentine's, we're thankful for your relationship with us. Morton Center supporters, you're all heart!