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DOUBT
To doubt, waiver, hesitate, to be uncertain, disbelieve. To stand at a crossroads and hesitate greatly. To question or fear.
I  remember thinking "That is too easy" when I was told "all you have to do is believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved" (Acts 16:31)
I have since experienced how truly difficult it really is. Acknowledging that true belief is reflected in how we live it out.
Even one of the first steps to being a Christian - Believing that Jesus' death on the cross paid the debit for every sin I have or ever will commit. I can say that I believe that completely but then I sin AGAIN... and I doubt.
Believing that He loves me is another tough one. I think I believe that but I know ME... all my thoughts, motives, desires, attitudes, struggles, failures and weaknesses.. so I doubt.
Then there is believing that He is sovereign over every detail of my life. I do okay with this until something painful, difficult or seemingly unfair comes into my life... then I doubt.
I relate very well with the story in Mark 4:35-41. The guys who hung out with Jesus, His disciples, who knew him and saw the amazing things He did, were in a boat when a furious storm came up... boats were familiar places to most of these guys but this storm was different. They went to Jesus and cried out "Don't you care if we drown?"
---^ That is me!! I think that I believe, I think that I know Him until a storm comes. Something unseen, scary, painful, or something out of my control. Then I run to Him and cry out "Don't you care!?"
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