In this lesson, Jesus reminds us that we "have a special place to fill; a role for me alone." (W.317.1.1) We may wonder what that special place is for us to fill? What am I appointed to do? What is the role that I am to fill? In this lesson, Jesus is saying that until we understand the answer to this question, "salvation waits." (W.317.1.2) Until we take our place in salvation, he says we are the "slave of time and human destiny." (W.317.1.3) What is it we are being asked to do? As I see it, we only have one role and that is to forgive. It is the one role for us alone and is related to those in our lives who are there for the purpose of healing. Thus it seems that our special function is to forgive these special relationships that are in our lives. It is up to us, our choice, to use time in the way that is designated for our salvation.
   
Forgiveness is the means to salvation. When we make the decision to take this path of undoing our misperceptions through forgiveness, time is being used for its intended purpose which is to remember who we are. To do that, I must "willingly and gladly go the way my Father's plan appointed me to go." (W.317.1.4) That sounds to me like God has a plan for us. Yet if we are already safe at home with Him and dreaming of exile in this world, then there can be no plan except for us to "recognize salvation is already here, already given all my brothers and already mine as well." (W.317.1.4) Until we make this choice, we are the "slave of time and human destiny." (W.317.1.3) We are stuck in the ego's cycle of birth and death. Accepting Atonement for ourselves is simply the acceptance of the truth of who we are as eternal beings of light and love, and the only way to this acceptance is through forgiveness.
   
We have a choice as to whether we follow the ego's plan or the Holy Spirit's plan. It is our decision as to which voice we listen to. Today we can determine to commit ourselves to following the Holy Spirit and allowing Him to lead us. "Father, Your way is what I choose today." (W.317.2.1) We are joining our will with His because it is our way back to the home we never left. Sometimes the motivation is very strong in us and at other times we may seem to be in the grips of the ego. There is a part of the mind that will do anything and everything to delay. It argues, debates, disagrees, judges, interprets, distracts and tries to control. When we listen to the wrong mind, we believe that we need to figure everything out on our own. We believe we have the answers for our lives. We even put ourselves in charge of our spiritual awakening. We believe that we can fix ourselves. We are willing to pay the price for what we consider worth striving for by suffering. Thus, we put off our awakening for the future.

Surrendering is the hard part for it seems to be an insult to our independence. To recognize we don't know and to become as dependent as little children seems highly unsafe. We think that if we don't take charge of our lives then things won't get looked after. We still don't trust our brothers or ourselves, but as we become willing to look at every thought, all we believe, all of our concepts and beliefs, and all that we value that keeps us attached to this world of bodies; and acknowledge that we don't know the meaning of anything, we take our special role of forgiving what no longer serves us. Nothing of what we hold as true will bring the happiness that we seek. Only by releasing all of the fear thoughts that keep us attached to the ego do we become free of its hold over us.

Some time ago I had an experience of great sadness and longing when I attended a celebration of the liberation of my birth country of Latvia and participated in singing the national anthem and folk songs of my childhood. The experience stirred up so much emotion. I was surprised by all of the feelings that came up. It is a feeling of not being at home. We probably have all had similar experiences which are a reflection of a belief that we have wandered far from our Father's home and forgotten who we are. We are like the Prodigal Son who believes that he squandered his father's treasure and would not be welcomed back into his father's arms, yet yearns for the experience. Believing that there is somewhere in the world where we can feel at home again is just another substitute for Heaven. In my mind, it seems like the memory of my childhood home and my country of origin is what is pulling at my heart, yet this lesson affirms again that the memory that awaits us is of our Father who is waiting to welcome us back into His bosom. "And all my sorrows end in Your embrace." (W.317.2.5)

Jesus tells us that at the root of every sorrow is the feeling of separation we have from God. "I need but turn to Him, and every sorrow melts away, as I accept His boundless Love for me." (W.PI.207.1.3) He assures us, in this lesson, that we were mistaken when we thought we had wandered from the protection of His loving Arms. It is not possible for us to stray. We are not lost. When we awaken, we will realize that we just had a dream of exile while safe at Home.

We need not spend our time exploring this dream. Our job is not to try to figure it out or our role in it. It is basically just to release it. The only value that looking at the darkness has is to be willing to let it go. Our stories are basically all the same. The situations and characters are different, but the ego conspiracies are identical. They are the ego's devices for keeping us separate from the love that we are. As long as we believe the thoughts that accompany these conspiracies, we keep ourselves in enslavement to the ego. They involve thoughts related to issues of abandonment, betrayal, shame, abuse, inadequacy, unworthiness, lack, loss, rebellion, revenge, sacrifice, self- attack, failure, competition, comparison, and jealousy. We play out these beliefs in roles of victim, perpetrator or helper/rescuer. We each have a favorite strategy for playing out what we believe about ourselves. All of these beliefs and these roles have their roots in our belief that we have separated from Oneness and thus feel guilty and expect to be punished for what we did. Jesus offers us just one solution to our guilt and belief that we deserve attack. That solution is to "willingly and gladly go the way my Father's plan appointed me to go." (W.317.1.4) In other words, to let go of what no longer serves us. To let go of the pain that comes from believing that we are on our own.

Sometimes our script seems to bring us great pain. I just had a call today from a friend whose baby died on delivery. Everything was going well. She was overdue and the doctors planned to induce the birth but waited a day, and it was on the day of waiting that the baby died. Why? The pain in her is immense. The ego voice tells her that she should not have waited, and then it tells her that at her age she may never have another pregnancy in the future. She is in deep pain wondering why this has happened. The voice of the ego crucifies us and keeps us in hell. It is the voice of guilt telling us we are paying for past sins, and the future now seems painful too.

How do we understand this? How willingly and how happily do we accept the script of our lives and recognize it all as a classroom for forgiveness and for awakening? When we see it this way, we become happy learners. Thus no matter what shows up in our script, we accept that it is all for our awakening. How can we judge what anything in our lives is for? Did this baby make a choice not to come onto the planet at this time? We can't know all the reasons. Jesus tells us, "There is Someone with you Whose judgment is perfect." (MANUAL FOR TEACHERS.10.4.7) We can't know all the facts but He does. He knows the past, present and yet to come. He knows all the effects of His judgment on everyone and everything involved in any way. "And He is wholly fair to everyone, for there is no distortion in His perception." (M.10.4.10) That is something we can never do. That is why we must come to acceptance that we know nothing of how things should be.  

Our awakening seems to be a process where there is something here for us to do while we believe that our experience here is real. We are called to do our forgiveness work in the special circumstances that show up for us that are actually perfect for our healing. The ego is restless and wants things to be different than they are. It is forever making plans and trying to control every situation. Yet when we learn to step back and follow in the way appointed for us, we can rest in God and simply accept what is given us to do. In fact, there is not so much of the doing as the undoing.

Whatever the circumstance seems to be, we can use it for undoing the concepts, beliefs and thoughts that keep our true reality hidden from our awareness. My function is my happiness and my function is forgiveness of all of the interpretations and beliefs that I hold in my mind. My function here is to expose and undo the ego. That is the only purpose for time, and we can make that choice now. So much of our time is spent living in the past looking at all of the things we should have done, should have said, shouldn't have done, or shouldn't have said. We justify our guilt when all we need to do is choose the miracle instead by letting go of the past and realizing that there is nothing to correct but our mistaken thoughts.

Today, we are asked to trust and be guided to step back and let Him lead the way. "Your way is certain, and the end secure. The memory of You awaits me there. And all my sorrows end in Your embrace." (W.317.2.3-5)